Born a Monster

“Okay, no survivors.”

I blinked at him; he sighed.

“There’s a goblin patrol ahead, they’re coming right for us. We open with throwing spikes, and then go to picks. Their morale isn’t likely to break, but if it does, I’ll do the chain trips. No. Survivors. No prisoners, no mercy. Got it?”

“Got it.” I said.

At most, it was a skirmish. There were four of them, but none had a skill level of greater than 6 or so. I’m supposed to say there was a hitch, but there wasn’t; Gondon was right, they fought to the last.

“Quickly. Check them for maps.”

They had one, it clearly showed them not more than a day’s sneak toward their colony. Gondon read the map and sighed. “Finally. We know where to scout to find them. If the Armingers let us do that much for them.”

I’d gotten a good bite in on one of them; there were no genetic differences between them and surface goblins. But these were clearly more muscled and (as I said) better trained. Warriors.

.....

We avoided the next two patrols, and then finally he motioned that we were at walking pace.

“Not bad, larva. Most people can’t hold their questions for half a day. Ask.”

“The goblins, are they at war with your kind?”

“I don’t make up the rules, larva. It’s always war with the gark. Always.”

That didn’t seem right, but I had lived among goblins long enough to know. Goblins would grow to whatever numbers the ecology allowed. I supposed they were a threat to any other sentient species. But I didn’t have to like it.

“So, what do I need to know about slimes that they didn’t teach me in training?”

“You know most of it already.” he said. “Bags of acid. Puncture them until they leak out. If you see an inner bag, that’s where they keep their vitals. Break that if you can. They’re slow, but they can take a lot of damage.”

“Can they dissolve our picks?”

“Indeed, they can. Strike fast, withdraw fast. But generally speaking, we’re not going to attack them. They’ll be more interested in organic matter than... oh.”

I nodded. I was made out of meat and bone and organs, all of which was organic.

Gondon turned away, stroking his imaginary beard. “Well, we’ll try not getting close enough to attract their attention.”

Like I said, slimes are slow. Most of the ones we saw were green or yellow, but there were browns and reds and blacks mixed in there. Most were translucent, others opaque. All of them seemed to scent me and identify me as food.

“Daggum. Never had this many problems from mere slimes before.”

“Are there usually this many?” I asked.

“Nope. Must be feeding on something. Dang slimes.”

There was one case where one oozed downward from the ceiling, but Gondon steered us clear of it. A short sprint, and we were... I’m not sure we were ever safe, but we made it through that first cavern without damage.

“Okay, one down, four more to go. We won’t be able to rest for a day or so, not the way they’re drawn to you.”

I shrugged. “It’s only six Sanity and Serenity per night; I’ve endured worse.”

In the second cavern our boot mufflers fell apart, much to Gondon’s chagrin. “We can find cave moss, later. But it’s not good to lose them this early.”

“So we remove them before crossing slime caverns in the future?” I asked.

“Hell, no. Rock trolls will sometimes use slimes to guard their homes. Trust me, we run if there’s a troll.”

“It took the entire cohort to bring one down in training.” I said. “I have no problems avoiding every troll we can.”

“Good, larva. Good. So until we’re clear of these slimes, move with care.”

Move with care. One of those things that is easier said than done. Still, yes, properly oiled, you could move in something that didn’t sound like the banging of pots, even in plate armor. But, as so many theoretical things, the reality was quite different.

You see, the floors of natural caverns are not smooth. It wasn’t that we were trying to make noise; we weren’t suicidal. And Tunnel Warden was a Stealth class. It was just... more intense and involved than other circumstances.

“So.” he said, once we were through the second cavern. How do you feel about slimes? Just a nuisance?”

“These are large caverns.” I said, “And there seem to be a lot of slimes.”

“They all seem to think you’re tasty.” he said.

“Enough vinegar, and I might be able to eat one of them.”

“Lime.” Gondon said. “You want lime to counteract their acid. An exact mix, and you end up with water. Harmless, life giving water.”

“How MUCH lime?” I asked.

“Too much, unless there were ores present. That, and the slimes keep worse things from moving in.”

I noticed something. “That one.”

“Don’t LOOK at it, larva. The big blue one?”

“Yes. It looks like it’s trying to head us off rather than coming right at us.”

“Ah, that’s because it is.” Gondon said. “What? You thought slimes were just mindless puddles of ooze? Most are, but even slimes have their Awakened members.”

“That’s ... utterly terrifying.” I said.

“Heh. Wait until we get to the foundry. That’s what I call the cavern with the lava running under the floor. Enough lava to drown in, and sometimes the floor is thinner than it should be. The air... what little there is of it... well, you’ll see.”

I was just glad for the few hours of sleep, warm air wafting in from ahead.

But the cavern, a cathedral of black stone, floor melted into discs of obsidian, looked like a temple to the forces of hell. Wherever the plates didn’t meet, in the low places, red lava glowed. “I’ll need ten or twenty minutes.” I said.

“For what, exactly?” Gondon asked.

“I need to make slight changes to my lungs.” I said. “Less oxygen, the fumes, the heat. Different evolutions. I’ll change back once we’re back to normal caverns.” I also kicked in some alpine changes, chiefly to my ankles.

When it was done, we made our way across the stacks of rock. “Don’t fall.” he said. Even where there isn’t lava, the air is poisoned in the low places.”

I coughed. “Why do you call this the forge?” I asked.

“In times before we understood what coal was, our people used natural lava caverns like this one to smith the crudest of metal tools. How are your lungs?”

My lungs were not happy. They played ballads of pain on my nerve endings. “There’s a little bit of damage.” I said. “But it’s accruing slowly.”

“Yes, so slowly that it won’t cause your System to throw up a damage warning. But there’s no turning back. We have to cross.”

[You have 65/80 health remaining.] my System let me know, once we were beyond it. “Thank you.” I said. “I wouldn’t have found that path, certainly not as quickly.”

“It’s experience, larva. Let’s look back now that we’re past the hard part.”

“It’s easier to see from this side.” I said.

“Yes, we were lucky this time. I’ve had those columns shift and fall over. Or had to cross sections of floor thin enough that my boots began absorbing the heat.”

“Wait, that was EASY?”

“Consider what happens when the lava pushes through the floor, but before it cools. A fountain of molten rock, one of the natural wonders of the world. Beautiful and deadly.”

I coughed, amazed there was no red mist of blood on my breath. “Throw in some tectonic shifting, and it sounds positively deadly.” I said.

Gondon stroked his not-beard. “Oh, you’ll find it gets worse. Sometimes there are creatures in the lava. Trust me; don’t fight them, just run. Better to turn back on an incomplete tunnel run than to not go back at all.”

“I’m not certain I’d want to pass through that cavern again.”

“Oh, nobody likes caverns like that.” he said. “But trust me, if it’s that or something truly dangerous, we’ll be back across that in a hurry.”

“Like a troll.” I said.

“Like a troll. But don’t worry about that. There’s an elevated slope up ahead. Colder, but no danger of getting poisoned to death in your sleep. We’ll be able to get in some good dreams about spiders and the giant snakes that eat them.”

“Wait, how giant of giant snakes?”

“Oh, don’t worry; they’ll have to unhinge their jaws to swallow either of us. Plenty of time to make your escape. But usually, they won’t bother us. What you need to worry about are the spiders. Get a swarm of those things on you, and then you’ll look tasty to the snakes.”

I knocked some black powder off the edge of my bedroll. “You mean because both spiders and snakes only eat organic things.”

“Like you, squishy larva. Why is something as tasty as you training as a Tunnel Warden, anyway?”

I sighed. “The other options were even worse.”

“Ah, there’s a truth. Well, you are on first watch.” He set out an hourglass, and was promptly asleep.

I must have been delusional from the volcanic fumes; I thought I saw a rat made of lava poking about behind us, before it turned around and returned to the forge cavern.