Born a Monster

Chapter 94

Rotten Eggs

Well, getting sulphuric acid from eggs turned out to be a more complex process than it looks on paper. You need a warehouse, and chemists, and then you need to divide the area up by how quickly that particular chemical can be produced.

There were custom glasswares and ceramics that broke all the time, and drama between any people who had any differences. There were men who quit when told if they wanted the respect and positions of the woman above them they could work hard for it, and women who quit because they weren’t expected to work hard.

Oh, and the day some six in ten of my staff walked out because we caught a rapist red handed, and I threw him off the roof. He was some chieftain or other’s son, and the backlash from that properly belongs in another story. I think I’ll call it Servant of the Axe.

And then there was the day we finally got sulphuric acid. Weak sulphuric acid. No, as in you can safely drink this sulphuric acid. Great, if you have constipation. Not so great if you’re trying to melt stone walls.

.....

It was Needa who came up with the idea of boiling the water out of the acid to increase its potency, and I am so glad I went with her gut rather than mine on that. We ended up with a process that would get us our acid bomb just in time.

“Let’s see if we can get the process faster.” I said. “I’d like two bombs by Thawing.”

Bombs? Hadn’t I mentioned bombs? Well, we lost two scientists over that, and I challenged them to find better uses for the acid.

They did, of course, and I endorsed both of their ideas later. We had a lot of good people on that project, and I was glad to have them.

None of us got all the food we wanted over winter, but none of us starved. When I could, I participated in the work. The rest of the time... let’s just say I was glad the social class Bureaucrat didn’t unlock for me that winter.

No, the social class that unlocked was something called Industrialist, which had most of the real impressive abilities at level two or higher. It unlocked an ability called I Eat Stress that blocked the first three points of Serenity loss on any given day. Given my low charisma, I very much treasured that ability.

There were all kinds of cost reduction and materials reduction abilities, and it shames me to admit I took none of them. My charisma wasn’t high enough for ones that would boost my health.

And, come the Week of Thawing, we had our two ceramic spheres, filled to the brim with sulphuric acid.

But that’s not the number that I remember with pride. My number is zero. There were zero people who lost a limb or their life to that process, at least while I was in charge.

#

Basic math will tell you that moving five hundred soldiers for twelve days requires six thousand times the food to feed a single man for a single day. Each small pot would hold ten servings of food, enough for two soldiers for one day. Or, two hundred fifty pots, each of which needed two each of vegetable, nut, grain, herb, and water each day.

“Wait. So what I’m hearing is that we need we need some six thousand of each ingredient? Before we even consider spices?”

“That is my math, also.” Nedan said. Nedan was the first to accept a quartermaster’s position.

I sighed. “Nedan.”

“Yes?”

“I consider that you should double those numbers. Our troops will also need food for the journey back.”

I did the quick calculation. It took about half an hour to gather just one ingredient, unless one counted the paltry forage results, for a single point of nutrition each. So, twelve thousand times four was forty-eight thousand, or twenty-four thousand hours, or at least three days of hunting and gathering.

Immediately after winter, so call it a week, when you considered the hunters needed to feed themselves as well, and travel to a distance that each person could forage in their own area.

“Rakkal is not happy about this delay.” Hortiluk told me.

“I don’t expect that he will be when I tell him.” I said.

“I believe I can help you with your issue.” He smiled broadly.

“Great Hortiluk, how do you envision you will assist me in this matter?”

“Our elite troops have been required to quell a rebellion in the south.”

“Our elite troops.” I said.

“Yes. Being of lower level, the remaining two hundred soldiers we can spare require less nutrition.”

“Two hundred? That’s one per cavalryman in Whitehill.”

“Well, you may need to delay a month, if you need the elite troops.”

“That is too much delay. I’ll see what we can do without them.”

I know you see the fallacy in his math. Two hundred people require less food, but there are fewer people to gather it.

And not understanding how nutrition worked, the bulk of what they actually brought in was meat (counting poultry and fish). Some of it hadn’t been preserved properly, which involved an additional two days employing every smokehouse in Montu’s Glory.

The bombs rode up, each in a separate cart, wrapped in blankets, on double layers of mattresses and secured with bales of hay and ropes. During the day, there were twelve guards on each cart. That wasn’t a popular decision, in part because nobody cared about the bombs.

We trained daily with boar spears. They weren’t pikes, but they were the best we could get from Montu’s Glory. I say we, but I barely had the strength to lift the things.

More things I needed to work on, if I survived.

Oh, not the battle, that was still three days off.

If I survived my report to Rakkal.

#

“Before I kill you out of hand,” Rakkal said, “Please give me your report.”

“We have two bombs.” I said.

“Will they work? I was told what you have isn’t in the least dangerous.”

“Five weeks ago, such reports were accurate.” I said. “I can say with confidence these are more potent.”

“They had better be. Need I list the expenses?”

“They total between eighty four and eighty five hundred silver coins. For that cost, you could have equipped an additional four or five hundred soldiers.”

“Bringing you to my next point. My orders were to come here with five hundred elite warriors.”

“That is a point between you and Harkulet, although he says there is rebellion in the south.”

“I notice no shortage of rebellion wherever I place Harkulet.”

I tilted my head. “Is there a shortage of rebellion where Harkulet is not in charge?”

He clenched his fists, then let the open hands dangle at his sides. “You know that there is not.”

“May I take any soldiers from Narrow Valley?”

“Only the human ones. Worthless, the lot of them. Just take them.”

And so we trudged north, all of three hundred fifty strong. Some of the humans had normal spears, but most had javelins.

Gods, help me get the forges set up in Whitehill. We needed the weapons.

But first, even outnumbered two to one, those overconfident peacocks just sallied out their southern gate and met us half a day from their walls.

“Why are they here?” I asked Gormshear, the general of the uruk troops.

“Inbreeding?” he guessed. “To leave fortifications is the exception, not the rule.”

“Can we protect the bombs?”

“The bombs, easily. But not the entire supply train.”

A breathless girl broke into the tent, snapping the leather ties to do so. “General Gormshear, the enemy is charging!”

“It’s just before dusk!” he exclaimed. “Are our troops at least awake?”

“They weren’t when I came to you.”

He let out a curse.

“You save our men.” I told him. “I’ll secure the bombs.”

We ran to our respective positions. Running, running, running. I hated it when exercising, I hated it even more when it mattered.

But I was good enough to get to the carts well before the cavalry could circle around. The sounds of fighting came from the camp.

“Get the carts inside the battle lines!” I shouted at the guard. “Where do you think you’re going? There’s no time for animals, just get behind the carts and push them!”

I saved the bombs. I couldn’t save about half our forces, nor could Gormfaith. We only killed sixty, perhaps seventy of the enemy.

“I hope we don’t need prisoners.” He told me.

“Be alert for the Oriestes-son crest. Other than that, they can take the prisoners as their camp wives for all I care. Load our dead onto the remaining carts.”

“We have no remaining carts.” He said.

“Forced march north.” I said.

“Our dead cannot wait.”

“Man-kindred sleep at night. Forced march north, and we’ll be back here by dawn.”

He spat at my feet. “I control our troops.”

.....

I ground my teeth. “You, Gormfaith, control our troops, and I should not presume to lecture you. What are your orders?”

“Quarter guard on the bombs and wounded. All who can walk! Vengeance is ours! Forced march north!”

#

Only about a hundred twenty of us arrived at the foot of the hill Whitehill covered, the others behind in a camp for the wounded. But the town had only half that number of cavalry left, and we had stout hearts.

Yay.

All we needed was one siege engine; it only had to last for two shots.

In future sieges, I would have water-filled shells for calibration shots. For this siege, I had been too worried about getting the bombs here to even think about how they would be used.

Idiot. Idiot. Idiot.

Nothing to be done for that.

“Aim for the main sigil, just above the gate.” I said.

Our first shot hit the wall high. There was visible smoking, but almost no damage to the wall.

The second one impacted on the main seal, cracking open in a gout of blue flames.

Gormfaith spat. Spun me around. “This! For this, over a hundred of our soldiers died! For your arrogance, your VANITY!”

He drew his axe from his belt. “For your crimes against the Uruk peoples, and against the Red Tide, I sentence you...”

His face, enraged, was lit by a flash of blue.

His face, surprised, was lit in green.

His face, horrified, was lit in yellow, as the axe slowly descended nowhere near me.

I turned back around to view the show. The seal was melting in rivulets of orange, angry red cracks extending from it throughout the gatehouse.

Two of our men died in the explosion, five others were wounded too badly to walk.

Magic wants to kill you, even the magic woven into walls to protect them.

I could only hear a high-pitched ringing.

[Severe injury – Tinnitus (temporary deafness).] It had a two hour timer.

I imagined the sounds as one of the gate towers collapsed, bending the portcullis and knocking it free of its moorings.

I motioned the general that we should pull our troops back.

When my timer had expired, I tried talking to Gormfaith. The men spoke to each other excitedly.

I waited nearly another two hours before Gormfaith spoke, warning the troops to post double guards.

“Gods’ severed balls.” He said. “That changes war as I know it.”

“Only until they change the wall wards to compensate for it.” I said.

He looked down at his hands. “I was supposed to kill you when it failed.”

“I still might die.” I said. “Unless our negotiator has recovered from his injuries, I’m going to be the one doing the talking.”

“Gods help us all.”

“Gods help us all.”

“How many men should I leave with you?”

“Three or four. Close enough to see if I’m slain, far enough away that they won’t be.”

“Done.”

#