BXBX NOVEL Volume 11.5, Epilogue: The calm before the storm
Volume 11.5, Epilogue: The calm before the storm
An upset Kei was sitting in my room.
Looking at how neatly she was dressed, it really did seem like she had plans afterwards.
“So, what is it?”
Kei looked at me, frowning, as I stayed silent.
Even though I was the one who called her out, I couldn’t say anything.
“What are you talking about?”
“No, what do you mean? Didn’t you say you remembered what you wanted to say?”
“Well, now that you mention it, that is true.”
“……”
“……”
Listening to my vague words, Kei’s displeasure intensified.
“That’s why I’m asking, what did you want to say?”
“Alright, you don’t have to be so hasty.”
“I just told you, I’m eating out with my friends at 7 o’clock at Keyaki mall. Understand?”
“There’s still plenty of time, it’s fine.”
“This is giving me a bad feeling, you know? You’re speaking nonsense.”
Kei started feeling a little suspicious because I was acting a little differently than usual.
“…Right, I’ve got something to tell you.”
Since I stayed silent, Kei started to complain.
“Something you got to tell me?”
To be honest, I didn’t know what Kei wanted to say, so I decided to ask her.
“Sato-san is suspicious about our relationship.”
Sato——We haven’t been in much contact recently, but she was a classmate who liked me.
“I thought she would hate me because I rejected her. What do you mean?”
“She tried to get me to admit that I broke up with Hirata-kun to date you, in a roundabout way.”
That is to say that even if Sato wasn’t direct about it, her intentions could be understood through her words that way.
“Of course I denied it, but I’m not sure if she believed me.”
“I see. Something similar happened on my side too.”
“Huh? Something similar?”
“Matsushita also has various doubts about my relationship with you. Mainly about whether I was dating you or not.”
I reported the conversation from a few days ago, and after hearing it, Kei’s face turned pale.
“Eh? What? Are you lying? Is this true? Are you joking?”
I nodded to show that I was serious, and began to explain the whole story.
I told her about how Matsushita-san also hid her true abilities, about her observations which raised doubts about our relationship, and her doubts regarding my true strength.
“Wa-wait. I can’t keep up with all this.”
Kei, who looked like she had a headache, placed her hand on her forehead.
“I have a bad feeling about this… What do you think?”
After understanding the situation, Kei asked me about my thoughts on it. No, she was seeking a solution.
Since this was partially related to why I called her over, it’s better to honestly tell her.
“I think it’s fine to leave it alone?”
“No, no, that’s not okay! Besides, there’s nothing between us at all!”
“So you’re saying that you dislike people thinking there’s a relationship between us despite it obviously not being true? Even if Matsushita spreads rumors about it, why not just let her?”
“Huh? Letting her say whatever she wants… We can’t ignore that kind of thing. You should go to her now and tell her that there’s nothing going on between me and you”
“Going to talk to Matsushita now would only be counterproductive.”
“You knew this from the start, right?… So why did you half-ass the lie?”
“No matter what I say, the situation won’t change. Isn’t Sato also dubious about my relationship with you? If so, then Matsushita, who is close to Sato, would have heard from Sato that my relationship with you was unusual sooner or later. No, it’s highly likely that she took action after she was informed by Sato.”
It should be thought that she only contacted me after she learned of the situation from the students around her.
“….That, that’s possible… but…”
After that, contacting Kei was inevitable.
Even if I strongly denied it this time, it would only confirm their suspicions next time.
If they found out I was lying, they might spread the news.
In that case, drawing the enemy to your side early on would be more beneficial for the future.
But the thing Kei was upset about didn’t seem to be about this.
“But… if someone said that I broke up with Hirata to, well, to date you… Rumours would not only spread within the class, but throughout the whole school as well… That would be a huge pain, you know.”
“Why would it be a pain?”
“Because, if a rumour like that spread… It would really affect me.”
Kei relentlessly expressed her dissatisfaction, not letting go of this.
“Get it? No matter what gender you are, if you’ve got a scandal with the opposite sex, the chances someone approaching you would be a lot lower.”
Understood? Kei held her index finger in front of me.
“So, in other words, I’m hindering you from getting a new boyfriend?”
“…Exactly.”
Even from the third perspective, you could understand what she was saying. Just like how when it was revealed that Sudo liked Horikita, it made it harder to approach Horikita. Something like that.
“Do you really understand? Are you listening?”
Kei continued, thinking that I still didn’t understand.
“You…are close with this Shiina?”
“Shiina? Ah, are you talking about Hiyori?”
“Hiyo….!?”
She was one of the few people who I called by their first name.
Of course, I also called Kei, Haruka, and Airi by their first names.
She should know this first hand.
However, it seemed like Kei didn’t expect me to have this kind of relationship with someone outside of our class.
“We’re pretty close, after all, we both like reading books. What about it?”
After saying that, Kei’s face changed color.
“Eh… so you’ve got the same interests huh… Reading books….hmm…hmmm. That’s completely different from me.”
Indeed, Kei and Hiyori had completely different personalities. She knew that herself.
“And so?”
“…Nothing, it’s just… Argh, that’s enough! You’re making me forget what I wanted to say!”
Kei got angry, raised her arms, and looked away.
After she calmed herself, she quickly started talking again.
“If the rumour with me spread, Shiina-san, then it would be harder for you to get closer to her, right?”
“I see, that’s a possibility.”
I admitted this, and then Kei stood up.
“I don’t care, whoever you want to get closer to is up to you.”
After saying this, Kei turned around.
“I’m sorry, we should stop now… talking about this… I want to get to Keyaki mall earlier since there might be boys from the other classes coming as well. In order to quell these rumours, I need to be motivated. I don’t have the time to help you.”
“Motivated?”
“Since I’ve broken up with Hirata-kun, I want to find a new boyfriend. Got a problem?”
“No.”
“…Right? So now I have to go.”
It seems like I overdid the teasing.
I stood up as well. Kei thought that I was going to see her off.
“You don’t need to, it’s okay.”
Facing the tone of strong rejection, I called out Kei’s name.
“Kei.”
“Seriously, now what?”
“If you don’t like it, then just ignore it.”
“Huh?”
After responding in disbelief, she paid heavy attention to what I was going to say next.
“Will you go out with me?”
“Eh?”
Kei frowned, not understanding. She looked back at me, eyes overflowing with doubt.
“What are you talking about? Where are you going?”
(TL note, in Japanese, “Date me” and “Come with me” mean the same thing.)
It seemed like she understood that as where I wanted her to accompany me, so she asked that.
“That’s not what I mean. I’m asking you if you would want to go out with me?”
“No, I mean- you mean…I- I don’t…understand…”
There was no need to continue talking. I looked into Kei’s eyes, and Kei accepted it. If there were a situation where we weren’t actually that close, that wasn’t the time to consider it. But between the two of us now, matching our gazes is all it took to convey our feelings.
“Wait, eh, ha, ehhhh!? This, what kind of joke is this…? It’s such a bad one…!?”
“This isn’t a joke.”
“Bu, but! Just now, you were hinting that you liked Shiina-san!”
“That was a joke.”
“But- the past few days-“
“That’s only… Well, I wanted to try to see if I could make you jealous jealous, Kei.”
Calling Kei to the cafe, allowing her to witness the scene between Hiyori and I chatting.
There was no need to have done this.
But, this was a way to let her know that I wasn’t used to the idea of “romance.”
‘If… if what you just said was a lie, then the relationship between us is over… If this is a false confession, and you’d like to admit it, this is your last chance… This, do you truly understand?”
With doubt clouding her heart, this wasn’t a question where she could just say yes or no to.
“Of course it’s not a joke, so let me hear your answer.”
“…e, e-e-e-e-e-even if you say that to me how am I supposed to…?!”
“I said it just now, if you don’t like me, you can ignore or reject me, or whatever.”
“Who said I’d ignore it! A-anyway, why?”
“What do you mean by why?”
“That, that is, me, so uh…something. Anyway, why was it today, uh…”
The previous question was unclear, so I could only answer the latter one.
“Why was it today… Hm. I can’t give you a good reason for me to choose today to confess, but I have a good reason for confessing. I wanted to prevent you from becoming someone else’s girlfriend.”
“So basically- you, like-me-right?”
The questions asked by Kei contained strong emotions that I had not seen before.
I wanted to, at this moment, or the previous moment, strongly shake up my heart, and then give a firm answer.
“That’s right, I like Karuizawa Kei.”
One of the major events in life was to confess.
The fleeting moment where you’d express your true emotions.
To Kei’s question, was my answer truly from the heart?
Originally, the act of confessing to someone, the only motives one had was love, an action that turned someone you liked into someone that belonged to you.
‘”Your answer?”
The baton in my hand had been handed to Kei, and the rest I had to do was to wait for her reply.
The chaotic Kei sorted out her feelings within her mind, and then she did her best to move her gaze back, as it had unconsciously wandered away.
“-We-well, I’ll go out with you…then.”
“Can I interpret what you just said as you liking me?”
“Yo-you want me to say it!?”
Although I understood her confusion, it was an indispensable part of the confirmation.
Only after receiving a definite reply can the relationship between the two of us can truly change.
“Mhm, I want you to say it.”
Although I urged her like this, Kei, although she was surprised, did not outright reject it.
“….”
There was no third person listening in, nor was there a contract stamped between us.
It is only the two of us that know, it is a conversation between only the two of us, and it’s between the two of us that we agreed to mutually help each other.
“Can you not answer?”
If she couldn’t answer, then I had to propose what we should do, but…
“Wa-wait a second. Now, my emotions are all over the place…!”
Kei stretched out her open hands, waiting for a bit, to try to lessen my worrying.
Looking at Kei, I decided to calmly wait for that moment to come.
After a bit, Kei looked at me, determination in her eyes.
“…Well, argh! That, how do I say it…”
Although she made up her mind, it still took some work to organize the words and speak them.
Due to me feeling that she was ineffably cute in that state, I didn’t feel depressed even though I was waiting for this long for her answer.
“To you…basically, I…”
Although it was extremely hard to work up the courage to do so, Kei did not try to look away.
This might be proof of Kei’s determination.
Karuizawa Kei’s strength was that, once she had made up her mind, she would carry it out to the end, no matter what the situation.
“Li-like…huh…rather than say that…”
Kei’s voice became softer and softer, stammering, but persisting in revealing her feelings.
“I also… like… like…you. I don’t want to say it but…I-I admit! I admit it alright!”
I don’t know why she was angry, but even so, she still revealed her feelings of love.
I stretched out my arms and gently held Kei’s arms.
“W-wait!? D-don’t say you want to kiss!?”
Kei’s reaction was even stronger than when I told her I liked her.
Even if we kissed now, I didn’t think Kei would object, but I didn’t want to do it now.
“I don’t plan to do that, at least not yet.”
“N-not yet…”
In other words, after that, the scene of us kissing would enter her vision.
Imagining that scene, Kei was motionless, as if she were frozen.
I embraced Kei in that state.
This was proof that my relationship with Kei had taken a huge step forward.
“This should be fine, right?”
“-Well, if it’s only this….”
Even if I didn’t see Kei’s face, I understood.
The Kei right now must be feeling confused, anxious, and happy.
Her facial expression had to be showing a feeling that was impossible to express with just a smile or other methods.
“Hey, haven’t you grown a bit taller?”
“Maybe.”
Before I came to this school, I measured 176cm tall. Growing during this year wasn’t much of a deal.
The same was true for the other students.
People would grow.
They were also creatures that loved to learn.
This was instinct.
Just like learning how to ride a bike, or how to swim.
Just like learning how to use chopsticks and how to drink from a straw.
I was also learning to fall in love through Kei.
This was something I had not learned in my life so far.
It was also something that couldn’t be learned in the white room.
And it drove my inquiring mind.
Moreover, there was an important reason as to why I selected Kei.
This love was necessary for Karuizawa Kei’s future growth.
Looking ahead to the next year, her relationship with me would be extremely important.
Kei’s way of survival, as a parasite attached to a host, would someday fail.
To prevent this from happening, this stage was necessary.
I-
Me right now, what expression did I have?
Was I smiling?
Or was there a shy expression on my face?
Or was there a confused smile?
I didn’t know.
The me now… I did not know the expression I was wearing.
-No.
I actually knew.
The expression I had now.
I knew what I was thinking of now, and I also knew what I planned to do.
While learning, people would feel joy in the process.
Whether it was studying, athletics, or games, it was the same.
You felt happy when you made progress.
This was the same with love.
I still didn’t understand love.
I didn’t know what romantic love was, and I didn’t know what familial love was.
And I didn’t understand the relationship between men and women.
The embarrassment and happiness I felt waiting for the outcome, that kind of thing I was also not clear about.
In the near future, I would definitely learn the answers to those questions.
But nothing would change.
Merely learning, growing up, and moving forward.
In other words, Kei was like a textbook for me to the opposite sex.
And when I finished reading it- it’s “purpose” would have been served.
Or-
Was a different future waiting for me?
Not leaving her side, becoming an irreplaceable existence for her.
I didn’t know.
There was a part of me that hoped for that, and there was a part of me that understood that it wasn’t possible.
So, let’s pray.
Praying that at the current moment – I am holding an important person in my arms and smiling.
Praying that I’d become a young student, promising to treasure her.
I gently embraced Kei, quietly praying.