BXBX NOVEL Volume 11.5, 3: Lost Lamb Part 6
Volume 11.5, Chapter 3: Lost Lamb Part 6
It became noon and it started to rain heavily as if someone had up-ended a bucket full of water. The precipitation exceeded 30mm.
I don’t know why I didn’t want to return to the dormitories, but I decided to stay in Keyaki mall by myself.
It was convenient for almost anything and everything to be located on campus. This meant that even if it started raining heavily, I would have no problem getting back to the dorms because students were allowed to borrow an umbrella temporarily.
As long as it was returned before the specified time, it was free. This led to many students using this service.
There were some students who went out in the morning and didn’t bring an umbrella. This was done to reduce the amount of things they had to carry.
That being said, today was slightly different.
Since it was raining this hard, an umbrella wouldn’t have made a difference. You would’ve still gotten wet.
“It shows no signs of stopping today.”
As predicted by the weather forecast, it would rain from about noon till tomorrow morning.
My phone occasionally vibrated due to the Ayanokouji group.
They discussed various topics, ranging from the rain to other causal topics.
“What should I do?”
I didn’t feel like joining the conversation, so I’ll just leave it alone. This way, the messages won’t be displayed as “read”.
I blankly stared at the screen as I loosely paid attention to the conversation in the group chat.
And as if I suddenly remembered something, I repeatedly stared at the rain outside the window to pass the time.
I’m not productive at all, wasting time like this.
But doing this occasionally wasn’t so bad.
I did not return to the café.
Instead, I randomly sat on a bench to kill time.
That being said, I couldn’t just continue doing this for hours.
After listening to the rain for 20, 30 minutes, I decided to head back.
I picked up my student ID and rented an umbrella from the machine.
Even if I borrowed an umbrella, my lower body, especially below my knees, would still be soaked by the rain. However, it was better than nothing.
I initially decided to head straight to the dormitory from here, but after taking one step out of the exit, I spotted a familiar student. Ichinose, amid this torrential rain. She was not holding an umbrella.
It seemed like she had stayed in Keyaki mall ever since our conversation.
There was no sign of her hanging out with her friends, and she was alone.
She must have stayed and thought about a lot of things after parting with us.
“She’s been sorting out her thoughts ever since, huh.”
However, judging from her appearance, it didn’t seem like she was very successful.
If she headed back without an umbrella, there was no doubt that her whole body would get wet.
I maybe thought she was waiting for a friend with an umbrella, but that did not seem to be the case.
It might be an act of kindness to leave her alone… but I was a little worried considering that Class B has just suffered a complete defeat during the last exam.
I hurried back to borrow another umbrella.
As I returned a while later, I saw Ichinose walking forward in the rain, embracing the fact that she would be soaked.
Ichinose wasn’t walking towards the direction of the dormitory, but instead walked in the opposite direction, towards the school.
Moreover, the raindrops bombarded her as she didn’t have an umbrella.
Although I could just watch her walk away──
I still took the umbrellas, and chased after Ichinose.
Due to the rain being too heavy, she couldn’t seem to hear my footsteps.
Even if I called out to her with my normal voice, she wouldn’t be able to hear me.
Ichinose continued to walk along the path towards the school. The school was within our line of sight.
In the pouring rain like this, there would be no one around.
Ichinose stood still and started looking at the sky, minding her own business.
It seemed like instead of avoiding the rain, she wanted to be drenched by it.
What were you feeling? What were you thinking about?
It wouldn’t be difficult to guess.
Although I didn’t mind letting her stay in the rain for as long as she wanted, she would definitely catch a cold if she stayed any longer.
And if she caught a cold, she would become even more mentally fragile.
That would be somewhat cruel to Ichinose in her current condition.
“You’ll catch a cold if you keep standing in a place like this-”
Raising my voice slightly, I greeted Ichinose as I approached her.
“… Ayanokouji-kun.”
As she didn’t expect anyone to be nearby, Ichinose was a little surprised, but then she glanced at my direction.
“…Yeah.”
She whispered softly, but didn’t move an inch.
She looked up into the sky once again, without fear of getting soaked.
“You should go back first. I…would like to be soaked a little bit by the rain.”
Ichinose said to me, when I was close enough to hear her soft voice.
“I see.”
It didn’t seem right, using a “little bit” to describe the heavy rain.
If I left her alone, Ichinose might stay in this rain for an hour or two.
Even if I tried to persuade her, she wouldn’t listen while in this condition.
So, to make her listen, it seemed like I would have to use slightly tougher means.
There was a particular method that worked on Ichinose in situations like this.
I lowered my umbrella, closing it.
And in an instant, the rain seeped into my body.
“Aya-ayanokouji-kun?”
“I thought I’d join you.”
Ichinose couldn’t ignore my peculiar actions.
“Why…?”
“Occasionally, I enjoy standing in the rain and being soaked for no reason.”
This formed a clear contrast to Ichinose, who had a reason for wanting to get soaked.
Though I had two umbrellas, the two of us were absolutely soaked.
This was quite the strange experience.
“Won’t you catch a cold?”
“I can say the same to you.”
“I don’t mind. Or rather, it would be good if I caught a small one.”
So that’s the case. Standing in the rain and getting soaked would indeed be the best way to catch one.
“Then maybe I’ll do the same.”
Of course, my answer would leave her confused. After all, she herself wouldn’t say anything like “let’s catch a cold together!” or something.
“No way, Ayanokouji-kun. You should go back. After all, you have an umbrella.”
“It won’t make much of a difference anymore.”
Everything under my clothes was already soaked, and it had penetrated my body.
“Oh…honestly!”
“Sorry about that.”
If Ichinose didn’t go back, I wouldn’t go back as well. Ichinose seems to have succumbed to my threat.
“…I get it now. Let’s head back.”
“If so-’
I wanted to pass the umbrella to her, but I didn’t in the end.
“We’re already wet, so what would it matter if we use that!”
“Haha, true.”
It would take a few minutes to get back to the dormitory.
It wouldn’t make much of a difference if we used an umbrella or not.
As we got soaked by the rain, we took our first steps.
Although I was fine with staying silent while we went back, Ichinose sighed soon after.
“Ahh, I’m always showing you my weak sides… I’m so lame…”
“Your weak sides? Maybe that’s true.”
A while back when Sakayanagi was playing with Ichinose, she had once lost herself as well.
“In front of others, I thought I could be more decisive and capable, so why is this happening?”
“People can only show their weak sides to the people they trust. That’s what I think anyway.”
At the very least, you don’t want to show any weaknesses to the people you hated.
Even if it were a lie, they still have to act strong. Only when they were alone would their weaknesses come forth.
“That was conceited of me, forget what I said.”
“No… I think it’s true. I think you’re a trustworthy person. So that’s why I always end up letting you hear my complaints. But… why does it feel like you’re always by my side when I’m depressed?”
“Well, those are all coincidences.”
“I’m really sorry.”
“There is no need to apologize. Besides, I don’t think this is bad. But if the other students knew about this, they might get angry.”
Ichinose was a very popular girl in this school year.
If ordinary boys hear this, they will definitely be envious.
“If it’s okay, you can complain to me all you want.”
“That──”
With a look of anxiety, Ichinose shook her head from side to side.
“No… I’m not okay with showing my weakness like that, it’s way too lame. “
Although it was slowly getting warmer, the temperature was still low.
In the godforsaken heavy rain devoid of any people, we finally reached the dormitory.
We were about to step into the lobby, but once again, Ichinose stopped moving.
“I think you’d better go back first yourself, Ayanokouji-kun.”
“What are you going to do, Ichinose?”
“I want to stay here for a bit, I… I don’t want to go back to my room yet.”
Ichinose refused to go back and said that.
This time however, there was a lot of willpower behind her refusal.
“Even so, it’ll be better if you just went back.”
Having been continuously soaked by the rain, it might have distracted her from what she was feeling.
But the rain was just that, a distraction. It wouldn’t solve the fundamental problem.
I didn’t want to yield to Ichinose’s resistance.
“Even so… I don’t want to go back… at least not right now.”
“Really? Then I’ll stay here as well.”
Ichinose seemed to be surprised and confused by my unyielding attitude.
“If I’m alone in my room, thinking, I’ll just get depressed… So I don’t want to go back.”
Ichinose would not go any further, even if we had continued to stay in the rain.
If that’s the case, then I’ll have to use another method to get her moving.
“You want to come to my room then?”
“Eh?”
Receiving an unexpected response, Ichinose attentively stared into my eyes.
“If you have someone to talk to, then you won’t be so depressed.”
“But…I’m all wet…”
“Well, I’m just as wet as you are. If you don’t want to come up, then I’ll stay with you here, for as many hours as it will take.”
“You’re unexpectedly stubborn.”
“Perhaps.”
And so we dragged our wet bodies into the dormitory.
It was a relief that nobody was in the lobby at that time.
And just like that, we took the elevator, and went up to my room on the fourth floor.
“Please come in.”
“Are you sure?”
“Uh-huh.”
“…Sorry, thank you.”
I let Ichinose in my room and made her sit down.
Sitting on the cold floor would only make your body colder, though.
And wearing wet clothes wasn’t good for the body either.
I turned on the heat function of the air conditioner so that Ichinose would not get any colder.
Then I took out a towel from the cabinet and handed it to her.
“How about we talk about it?”
“Talk… about what?”
“Talk about what you’re thinking about, and what you’re worrying about, and everything related to that.”
“That… But… But I… I can’t!”
Ichinose refused, seemingly confused.
“I’ve always been relying on you recently, Ayanokouji-kun. I’ve received more help than anyone else. If I say this audaciously… No, I can’t say it, it’s too unsightly.”
Ichinose Homani was just a weak little girl
And yet she had always maintained her composure as a leader.
That was an ability a leader had to have.
That composure was necessary to make the others feel that following their leadership was okay.
The person leading had to show this to the people they were leading.
“Ayanokouji-san, you already understand me very well.”
“Yeah, I’m very aware of your situation. But that’s only limited to you as a person. I’m not aware of your troubles as Class B’s leader.”
“You’re even going out of your way to do this…”
Ichinose covered her face with the towel, unable to be honest with
herself.
It’s as if she’s refusing to let me read her expression.
“You can’t trust me?”
“Eh?”
Ichinose responded, still covering her face.
“If that’s the case, then you don’t have to force yourself to speak. Rather, It’s a mistake to let others hear it at all.”
“No… That’s not it. I probably trust Ayanokouji-kun more than anyone else now…”
As to whether that was a lie or the truth, it didn’t matter here.
Because whichever it was, I had intended to follow up with my next sentence anyway.
“That’s an honor, but how can you say that so easily? You don’t know if I’m just taking advantage of your openness. Although it might just be a rumour, you told Sakayanagi about your past… right?”
That event should still be fresh in her memory.
The crime she committed during middle school, and how she wanted to keep it a secret.
Although she shoplifted for the sake of her little sister, she still told this to Class A’s Sakayanagi, her enemy.
Although this was something that was hard to talk about, even to your very best friend, she ended up telling it to her enemy anyway, even if she was manipulated to.
Even for a good person, this was rather excessive.
“When you don’t exactly know what your relationship is with the other person, you normally wouldn’t spill your own secrets.”
Of course, if there was a reason for your actions, then it would be another story.
But what Ichinose did was meaningless.
No, she knew she would regret it, but still did it anyway.
“What will you do if the same thing happens again?”
“Well, even for me, I don’t want to see it happening again.”
With that said, Ichinose touched her bangs which were glossy from being wet.
“I see. That’s good. Now that you’ve become more aware of your situation, I won’t discuss the topic further.”
“Ah, no. I definitely… won’t suffer a crisis again for the same reasons as before. But Ayanokouji-kun is different.”
“I’m not your classmate. I’m still your enemy, and that won’t change, right?”
“I don’t want to use that word so easily.”
“Even if you don’t want to say it, it’s the truth.”
“…But…”
Unable to accept it, Ichinose rephrased her sentence.
“Although you’re not an ally… You’re a trustworthy person.”
Through conveying it like this, the word “enemy” had been removed.
The water I prepared before started boiling.
“I only have coffee, milk coffee, and hot cocoa.”
“Then… I’ll have the cocoa.”
I nodded to Ichinose, who responded with a smile, and poured the cocoa into the cup.
Drinking hot drinks could warm up your body.
Soon, the rain subsided, and the sunset glow began to pierce through the clouds.
Ichinose looked at this scenery for a little bit, then turned to me with a faint smile.
After a while, Ichinose slowly started to talk about her feelings.
“When I was assigned to Class B and met my classmates, I was confident in victory. People say I might have been too conceited, but I was blessed with excellent companions. That feeling hasn’t changed.”
As if she were confirming it again, Ichinose said this.
“Yet, the only miscalculation was me as the leader. If I took better action, Class B would definitely have more points than now.”
“I don’t think so. I always considered you as an extraordinary person.”
Shaking her head, she refused my praise.
“After speaking with Horikita-san today, I really felt that she has grown a lot as a person this year. The same is true for Sakayanagi-san and Ryuuen-kun. No matter which class it is, their leader is getting stronger.”
Unlike those who were constantly showing growth, Ichinose wasn’t able to see her own growth in the past year.
Because of that feeling, she had lost confidence in herself.
As she felt like she was losing herself and her self-confidence, she also had the impression that the others were leaving her behind.
“Will… Will I be able to win in the future?”
“Will you be able to win in the future, huh.”
“If I said that I wanted to hear your opinions, would you answer me honestly?”
“If that’s what you want, I guess I could.”
My answer wasn’t necessarily right.
However, Ichinose wanted an answer now.
But this was not something that can be clearly answered now.
The future had not yet been determined, and there were endless numbers of possibilities.
I know that Ichinose wasn’t the type of student to give up so easily here.
“We’re about to be in our 2nd years soon. That is to say, the new year is coming.”
“Yeah…”
“Throughout the year, no matter what, you’ll have to fight together with your classmates. During then, you might experience happiness, sadness, and sometimes hardships as well, but even so, you must never stop advancing.”
Ichinose Honami has done her role as Class B’s leader to the best of her abilities up to now.
The only thing Ichinose Honami can do as the leader of Class B right now, was to recklessly continue to live her life as she has done up until now.
She needed to trust in her comrades, and fight until the end. That was the only option she had. This was the weapon that only Class B was allowed.
“And then… will this…be my answer…after a year, I wonder?…”
She was talking about herself one year later.
Surely she must be feeling extremely uneasy.
“I’m afraid. I’m afraid to find out… what you will tell me in a year….”
Starting off at Class B wasn’t bad in the Advanced Nurturing High School.
Ichinose spent a year with her classmates, and protected that position.
Surrounded by many companions, her school life had been smooth sailing.
However, if you weren’t paying attention, even for just a moment, you might find that the gap between the classes behind was closing.
Defeat had finally caught up to Ichinose, and it was staring into her eyes.
“I-”
“I understand. It’s hard to accept that as an answer.”
Ichinose turned her gaze away.
I couldn’t answer her question regarding whether she would win in the future. No, there was no need to answer that.
Judging from the current situation, a large gap between the classes in terms of combat ability was growing.
If you objectively analyse the current situation, the class at the bottom next year would probably be Class B.
That was what made Ichinose feel so uneasy.
It wasn’t the cold but instead the fear that was penetrating her body and made her tremble slightly.
“What should I do… What can I do…”
She looked so weak. Ichinose certainly would not allow any other students to see her like this.
Especially her classmates.
It’s a simple task to say tender words to the Ichinose who had opened her heart out to me. It also wouldn’t be much harder to whisper gentle and sweet words, delivering them right through the gap in her heart.
It might even be possible for me to touch her skin hidden beneath her wet clothes.
I moved a little, as Ichinose reacted excessively and lifted her head to look at me.
I moved to Ichinose’s side and sat down, maintaining my position, and tightly caught her gaze, which looked like it wanted to escape.
“A-Ayanokouji-kun…?”
I stretched out my right hand and touched Ichinose’s wet hair, then I lightly stroked her cheek.
There was a cold and soft sensation.
Next was the faint, enveloping warmth, which spread from my fingertips.
Then, I moved my thumb, and gently caressed her lips
By doing that, her body’s trembling lessened and soon her trembling lips had also calmed down.
Under normal conditions, this kind of action would be rejected by anyone and they will try to run. However, Ichinose didn’t run away.
“It’s so strange… You really are a mysterious person… Ayanokouji-kun…”
“Perhaps.”
After ending the conversation, I stared at Ichinose. Nothing more, nothing less.
“Now, Ichinose, will you meet up with me again next year on this day?”
“…What do you mean?”
She did not try to escape the touch of my palm, as she stared at me with her moist eyes.
““I meant what I said. I want to meet you again next year. No one else, just us.”
This may sound like some kind of confession.
But, this would end now. I gently moved my hand away from Ichinose’s cheek, stood up, and distanced myself from Ichinose.
“In the coming year, don’t feel trapped by confusion and uncertainty, just keep moving forward. Then, talk with me again next year. Can you promise me this?”
“That…”
She hesitated for a moment.
“But what if…I at that time… our classes….”
“It doesn’t matter. I just want to see the Ichinose a year later.”
Ichinose closed her eyes and nodded slightly.
“I will convey to you then what I wanted to tell you now, that’s a promise.”
“Yes. Thank you… Ayanokouji-kun.”
Some kind of brightness had started to return to her eyes, devoid of energy.
“I will also promise this. I will fight with all my strength and overtake Class A this year.”
Ichinose let out the brightest smile she had all this time.
We made a promise to meet again one year later.
If both of us survived, then this promise would be fulfilled.
Class B, led by Ichinose Honami.
What would happen to them in the future?
There were a lot of factors I’m pessimistic about, but the future wasn’t set in stone.
However… If she does fall during the second year, then I will be the one to finish her off.*
Note:*Original Japanese used is “Kaishaku”, it refers to the act of beheading someone who has committed seppuku, to make them die more quickly and without pain.