To the Love of My Life

Steve circled the study, the scene of his desperate and crazed rage that night still vivid in his mind. He could still clearly remember how he felt as he smashed each object that was originally placed in the corner of the study.

He thought, from then on, no one can make him lose his temper to such an irreparable extent.

Because, that person, had completely left his world.

Actually, about this marriage engagement, he had a clear answer deep in his heart yesterday afternoon in his office. It was to call off the engagement. It was only today, when she left with Edric, that he finally voiced the conclusion.

Actually, he used to smoke, but because she had mild rhinitis and got itchy from smelling smoke, he quit smoking. He also asked Howard, Russell and Edward not to smoke in front of her.

In the beginning, when his craving for nicotine kicked in and she was not around, he would take a couple of puffs. Later on, when she was studying in Costa Luna and he missed her like crazy, he pretended she was by his side and forced himself to stop smoking. Over time, he quit smoking completely.

But today, he suddenly wanted to smoke.

Steve walked to the desk, opened the drawer and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. These were several years old and way past their expiration date. However, he did not care, took a lighter and lit one up, then hungrily smoked, blowing clouds of smoke.

The expired cigarettes tasted a bit bitter. Perhaps, the bitterness was his heartache.

A pack of cigarettes was finished by Steve in no time. The study’s window was tightly closed, and the room was filled with the pungent smell of smoke. Steve felt an unexplainable tiredness all over his body. He snuffed out the last cigarette bud, walked waveringly to the sofa, and sat down rather aimlessly.

Although it had been more than twenty hours, he could still vaguely smell the scent of their lovemaking on the sofa from that night. He reached out and gently brushed his hand across every inch of the sofa’s trace. His gaze followed each mark until he noticed a few droplets of red at the far-left corner.

Because of the passage of time, the red had darkened, yet Steve could still recognize that it was blood.

Did Ruby Gregory bleed? Did he hurt her when he smashed things? Or did he hurt her that night?

Steve stood up subconsciously, swaggered out of the study in a hurry. Russell and the others had not left yet. Seeing him come out, they all stood up. Steve blurted out without thinking: “Go find…”

He only spoke two words, then he shut his mouth.

He had promised to accept her proposal to cancel the engagement, promised not to disturb her ever again, but now seeing her hurt, was he going to break his promise?

Steve paused for a while, then finally said blandly, “It’s okay.”

He reiterated to himself as they watched in silence, “It’s nothing.”

“Really, it’s nothing…” Steve repeated ‘it’s okay’ several times and then simmered down. After a while, he waved his hand at the four men standing downstairs, his voice somewhat weak as he said, “You all may leave. I’m tired, I want some rest alone.”