The Spirited Daughter-in-law and the Mountain Man

“With so much to wash, of course I’m here to help.” He grinned, “Dear, take a break, I’ll do the washing.”

“Do you have the strength for it?”

“Even if I don’t have much strength, I can wash slowly. It’s still doable.”

“Suit yourself then.” She said lightly, “Be careful not to topple into the basin full of pig offal. You become all wobbly and weak after a while.”

He had to use both hands to support the heavy offal, “I can’t promise, dear. The basin is full of pig manure and it’s heavier than your clothes…”

“If you fall in, I’ll fry you up along with the pig offal.” She said expressionlessly, “I’ve eaten many kinds of meat but never human.”

“Dear, you’re so brutal. Your husband, with such a handsome face…” The handsome face moved closer, “Look, look! A few days ago I had a scrape on this handsome face. You said it would scar. I wouldn’t really mind a scar but you said you’d dislike it if I had a scar. My face has healed now, no scar at all. You little liar! How can you compensate me for my mental anguish?”

“Tonight, I’ll let you eat a bit more pig offal.”

“That’s it? Even if it doesn’t stink after washing, it doesn’t mean it will be delicious.” He complained, “Compensation is too small. Can I negotiate for a higher compensation?”

She glared at him, “Xiao Yuchuan, how shameless are you?”

“I learned it from you, dear.”

“…” Three crows seemed to fly past her forehead, “Do I look like a shameless person?”

“No.” He shook his head.

“So stop blaming me.”

“My dear, you are, absolutely, a shameless person.”

“You dare to malign me…” She took up a pig intestine and straightened it into a makeshift rope, “Are you asking to be choked to death?”

The “rope” was getting closer and closer to his neck, he cried out in horror, “No, dear, I don’t want to be the first man in our village to get choked to death by pig intestine!”

“I’ll let you pick your way to die.”

“Since my dear wife is so kind, I’ve decided…” He showed a toothy grin, his bright white teeth shone in the sunlight, “I want to die on you, pressing down on you, merging with you, even death would be heavenly, even death is pleasurable!”

“Shit!” She couldn’t help but curse.

“Dear, you always spew some self-created nonsense that I can’t understand. Fortunately, you’ve explained this sentence, otherwise it’d be as if I were listening to hieroglyphics. I just don’t understand, what does my wanting pleasure on you have to do with grass, mud, or horses?” He sighed, his face full of injustice, “And also, it was you who told me to say it. But after I said it, you looked as if you were about to eat me…”

It seemed like she was the one who had asked him to say it, she forced a smile, “How could I eat you? I’m such a gentle person.”

“Dear, do you even have anything to do with gentleness?”

Her expression changed, “Where am I not gentle?”

“You were about to cook and eat me just now…” Seeing that she had put the pig intestinal ‘rope’ into the basin to wash, he dared to get closer to her again, “Dear, instead of cooking it, why not eat it raw, eat it alive? Eat me…”

“Get to washing!”

“Yes.” While he was washing the pig intestines with difficulty, his whole body leaned against hers, “Dear, the pig intestines stink, but you smell good…”

“Don’t lean on me!” She turned her head and shot him an angry glare.

But he just kept leaning against her, also turned to look at her, and their lips brushed past each other in an instant.

Their hearts leapt into their throats as if about to jump out.