What It's Like Being a Vampire

Xiao Pingguo boasted pridefully to Xiang Kun, “I think I can communicate with ‘Sparkly Gold’ now, I mean genuine communication! Whatever I ask him to do, he understands.” Saying this, she called out to ‘Sparkly Gold’, “Come, sit on my shoulder.”

The next moment, the canary ‘Sparkly Gold’ hopped out of the cage with little leaps. As it flapped its wings, it settled on Xiao Pingguo’s shoulder. Both the bird and the girl proudly posed in front of the camera.

Xiang Kun felt an odd sensation communicating with the Minion Wood Carving pendant and the coin he gave her previously. So he casually asked, “Xiao Pingguo, have you made any progress with your ‘object sensing’ ability?”

Xiao Pingguo repeatedly nodded, “Of course, I believe that I communicated with ‘Sparkly Gold’ through that coin you gave me. Uncle Xiang, could you wait before taking ‘Sparkly Gold’ back? I think within some time, I could train him into a guide bird, haha!”

As she spoke, she pulled out the coin Xiang Kun had given her and flicked it into the air.

The next thing, ‘Sparkly Gold’ fluttered his wings, soared several inches into the air, and accurately caught the spinning coin in his beak. He then returned it to Xiao Pingguo’s hand and continued to chirp proudly at the phone screen, chirping twice at Xiang Kun’s face displayed on the screen.

Through his connection with the coin, Xiang Kun seemed to faintly sense a link between ‘Sparkly Gold’ and the coin?

He immediately realised that it wasn’t a direct connection between ‘Sparkly Gold’ and the coin, but rather that ‘Sparkly Gold’ had been incorporated into Xiang Kun’s super sensory item system.

Actually, a long time ago, Xiang Kun had strategically set a perch in ‘Sparkly Gold’s’ cage specially, and established “super sensory contact” with it.

His idea at that time was to test whether ‘Sparkly Gold’ could, like Xiao Pingguo and Little Fatty Girl, establish a special connection with his “super sensory” objects and thus gain special abilities.

Nevertheless, all along, ‘Sparkly Gold’ hadn’t sparked anything special with that perch. Even though Xiang Kun had built a cognitive model for ‘Sparkly Gold’ and got a better understanding of it through extensive observation and contact, it still seemed like an ordinary canary without any apparent changes.

But now, Xiang Kun could clearly sense that ‘Sparkly Gold’ was different, even if he was unsure about what it could accomplish through its connection with the “super-connected objects”.

This connection was extremely faint, significantly weaker than the sensation he got when Xiao Pingguo and Little Fatty Girl established their connections, that’s why he hadn’t noticed until now.

Xiang Kun pondered that it must be Xiao Pingguo’s work that made it possible for the canary to enter his super sensory item system.

In other words, even though Xiang Kun had provided ‘Sparkly Gold’ with ‘network access’ earlier, the canary’s ‘terminal’ was too outdated to install the necessary system and applications.

However, Xiao Pingguo managed to take ‘Sparkly Gold’ into her system first and anticipated it using a simpler system. Then, through her, it was connected to Xiang Kun’s entire super sensory item system.

He sort of understood why ‘Sparkly Gold’ was showing off and expressing pride. The little fella knew that he had established a connection with Xiang Kun’s “super-connected items” and probably thought quite highly of himself.

After Liu Shiling surprised Xiang Kun by ‘developing’ a new ability, Xiao Pingguo also presented him with a ‘New Year’s Gift’.

Having listened to ‘Sparkly Gold’ for a while, Xiang Kun said to Xiao Pingguo, “You can train ‘Sparkly Gold’ as you wish. I trust you. Since I can’t take care of him for some time, I am relying on you to help me do that.”

“No problem at all, I’ll take good care of Golden Sparkle, don’t worry Uncle Xiang!” Xiao Pingguo happily exclaimed.

After ending the video call with Xiao Pingguo, Xiang Kun thought for a moment, then sent a ‘happy new year’ emoji to Shiling’s Mom on WeChat, and asked where she and Liu Shiling spent the New Year’s Eve.

After a while, a video call request from Shiling’s Mom came through.

As soon as he answered, Xiang Kun saw Liu Shiling holding the phone with both hands, eyes wide open, mouth slightly ajar, looking at the front camera.

As soon as she saw Xiang Kun, Liu Shiling gave a loud ‘Ah!’, then cried out: “Uncle Bald! Happy New Year! Good health! Wishing you a fortune as vast as the Eastern sea….”

“Wait! That’s for birthday celebrations! Congratulations on what? Weren’t you just reciting it perfectly just now?” Shiling’s Mom’s voice came from outside the frame with a trace of helplessness.

When Liu Shiling got the reminder, she hurriedly said again: “Wishing you wealth and prosperity, red envelopes…No, may all your wishes come true, um… study hard, make progress every day…” Her eyes moved up again, looking to her mother behind the phone for prompts.

Xiang Kun was laughing so much he couldn’t close his mouth, and on the other end of the video, Shiling’s Mom said helplessly, “Alright, say whatever you want, wish Uncle Xiang a happy New Year.”

So Li Shiling looked directly at the phone and said: “Happy New Year Uncle Bald! I wish you have delicious food and fun every day!”

“Good, thank you Xiao Lingdang, I also wish you always have good food, lots of fun, and your learning gets better and better, you become more and more awesome!” Xiang Kun said with a smile.

Liu Shiling nodded happily, clearly understanding the hint in “becoming more and more awesome”.

“By the way, Uncle Bald, there’s something I don’t understand, and my mom doesn’t know either. My mom told me to ask my teacher after school starts, but kindergarten is still a long way off, I want to ask you.”

“What’s the question, ask away.” Xiang Kun said.

Then Liu Shiling started asking non-stop: “Uncle Bald, what is an electric field, what is a magnetic field, what is electrical energy, what is magnetic energy? What is an electron, what is a neutron, what is a proton? What’s the difference between lightning and the electricity in lights? Why is static electricity called static electricity? Is magnetism magic?”

Liu Shiling’s mother on the other side hurriedly interjected: “Hey? Didn’t we say you were supposed to give Uncle Xiang a festive greeting and wish him a happy New Year? Why are you suddenly asking so many questions? It’s the New Year’s…”

Although Xiang Kun was also taken aback by this barrage of questions, he quickly stopped Shiling’s Mom and said he could answer Liu Shiling’s questions.

He learned from Shiling’s Mom that it was because Liu Shiling was reading the children’s encyclopedia he had sent her that all these questions had come up, and this made him feel quite content and… anticipating.

He could understand Liu Shiling’s cognitive process and thought patterns, so he knew how to explain these concepts in a way she could comprehend.

He didn’t strive to explain the principles at their root or in the most scientifically rigorous way, but instead simplified or even ‘magically’ analogized those scientific concepts, allowing Liu Shiling to grasp the rough operating logic behind them according to her way of understanding things. The more detailed and in-depth knowledge would have to wait until she could read and enter school to systematically learn about it.

So, within just about twenty minutes, Xiang Kun had basically explained all the questions Liu Shiling had asked, and her eyes grew brighter and brighter as she listened. Shiling’s Mom, on the other hand, was wide-eyed and speechless, she hadn’t thought that one could teach children ‘science’ in this way. Even though it wasn’t possible for Liu Shiling to truly understand the actual principles and concepts of those things, the basic logic and direction were correct.

Just as their conversation was about to wrap up, noticing her mom’s phone battery was almost dead, Liu Shiling quickly asked: “Uncle Bald, have you been hunting any… extremely delicious monster… creatures recently?”

Upon hearing this, Xiang Kun instantly understood her meaning. Little Fatty Girl was asking if he had gone hunting for monsters. Earlier on, after he had killed a “mutated spider” in the Qinling Uninhabited Area and was on his way home, he passed through Star City and ate with Liu Shiling. At that time, patting his bow case, he had honestly told her, “Uncle Bald carries this bow and arrow to hunt monsters.”

Obviously, Little Fatty Girl was asking about his recent achievements. She avoided asking directly because her mom was present.

Xiang Kun chuckled, “I came across some ‘extremely delicious monster creatures’ a few days ago, but I didn’t catch any. Little Bell, your academic performance has been really good lately. Uncle Bald knows all about it. You must keep pushing, practice more, keep up the good work, and strive to make progress every day. The next time you see Uncle Bald, he will make you something delicious!”

Little Fatty Girl immediately understood Xiang Kun’s meaning, having figured out what he meant by “study, practice”, and she nodded vigorously, saying earnestly, “OK, Uncle Bald, I will practice hard and study diligently!”

Although she was utterly confused by what Liu Shiling meant by “extremely delicious monster creature”, puzzled by Xiang Kun’s praise of Liu Shiling’s achievements, Shiling’s Mom didn’t probe further. She assumed Xiang Kun was just talking about a new dish he had made. Seeing her phone battery was almost dead, she reminded them urgently, “Shiling, you’ve been bothering Uncle Xiang for long enough, please say goodbye so I can talk a bit.”

“Oh…” just as Liu Shiling was about to return the phone to her mom, she suddenly thought of something else and continued, “Uncle Bald, you said you would cook me something delicious, what kind of delicious food will you cook?”

However, before Xiang Kun could answer, the video call ended. It seemed that Shiling’s Mom’s phone battery had finally died.

“She is a cute little girl. Who is she?” at that moment, his mom, who had been passing by his room, walked in and asked.

Xiang Kun chuckled, “She is the child of my neighbor from where I used to live. I gave her an encyclopedia and she’s been asking me for advice ever since. She is a very eager learner and a lovely child.”

He had already overheard his father whispering to his mom when he saw him video calling a little girl and that the call had been going on for tens of minutes.

When his father wildy speculated, “Could that chubby little girl be a secret child our son fathered?”, he was smoothly rebutted with a sharp finger flick to the forehead from their mom. But it seemed like his mom was also affected by it, hence she came running for confirmation as soon as his video call had ended…

The dinner Xiang Kun prepared was extremely rich. He had planned several dishes and made detailed preparation plans. After his mom prepared a pile of seafood ingredients in the afternoon, he added a seafood hotpot to his menu.

Of course, his mom insisted that most of the seafood should be saved and used to prepare supper for Old Xia later.

Throughout the New Year’s Eve dinner, his mom kept fussing over how the ingredients should be used. But whenever Xiang Kun suggested she cook, she would decline, “I’m just giving my opinion! You cook, you better cook!”

After tossing a super sensory connected stone at a bird, just before his last Blood Draw, Xiang Kun had established super sensory contact with several other stones, so he had plenty of tools to suppress his stomach during the meal. Moreover, when he was dining with his parents, he had a very skillful way of eating. With only a small amount of food, he could make his parents believe he had eaten a lot especially when there were so many dishes.

Having mostly finished their New Year’s Eve dinner by 8:00 PM, they turned on the Spring Festival Gala on TV, and Xiang Kun sat down with his parents to chat and watch the show.

He remembered from his childhood, every New Year’s Eve, they would all gather in front of the TV and eagerly watch the Spring Festival Gala.

After he got a computer, even on New Year’s Eve, he would always be running between the TV and his computer, playing games, browsing forums, and occasionally glancing at the TV, with a focus on only watching the sketches and crosstalk shows.

After he went to university and started working, he got a smartphone, and even though he would be sitting in front of the TV, he would always be browsing various platforms on his phone, sending and grabbing red envelopes in various WeChat and QQ groups. His attention was neither on the television nor on his parents – of course, his parents were also engrossed in grabbing red envelopes…

But this year felt somewhat different. Under Xiang Kun’s deliberate guidance, he didn’t look at his phone, and naturally, his parents didn’t play with their phones either. Instead, they watched the variety show, discussing the performances on it, and then extrapolating from them to their own lives.

“The crosstalk by these two little fatties was pretty good.” Mrs. Xiang nodded affirmatively to Yue Yunpeng and Sun Yue, who came out first.

But Mr. Xiang disagreed, “I still prefer Feng Gong, Niu Qun and their group.”

Mrs. Xiang then complained to Xiang Kun, “Your father is an old fuddy-duddy, his thoughts are outdated.”

Xiang Kun chuckled, “Mom, you are keeping up with the times, dad is reminiscing the classics, both are reasonable.”

Mrs. Xiang also sighed, “But there were indeed many classics in the past, every year I looked forward to the skits by Chen Peisi and Zhu Shimao, they were so good, and then there was Zhao Benshan…”

Although Mr. Xiang verbally praised the past crosstalk and was somewhat dismissive of the current ones, when Yue Yunpeng started singing “Where is The Road”: “You carry the load, I lead the horse…”, he slapped his thighs and sang along, “… greet the sunrise, send off the evening glow…”, and then sang “Song of the Peony” with squinted eyes, utterly lost in the music, completely engaged.

Mrs. Xiang whispered to her son, “Your father’s drunk!”

Mr. Xiang shot back a glance at her, “No, I’m not!” Then he continued to slap his thigh, “Ah~~~ Peony, the most spectacular among all the fragrances!~~”

Next, during the crosstalk “Mother-in-law and My Mother” by Jia Ling and Zhang Xiaofei, Mrs. Xiang still enjoyed it deeply. While eating the pistachios Xiang Kun had shelled for her, she chuckled, “Kun, if you get a wife in the future, I will absolutely never quarrel with her. If you bully her, I will stand with her and beat you together.”

Xiang Kun laughed, “What if the wife I marry has a terrible temper and a very bad character?”

Mrs. Xiang waved her hand dismissively, “It won’t be… I think Xiao Xia has quite a good personality.”

Xiang Kun almost choked on his own saliva, he sighed helplessly, “Mom, don’t talk nonsense… How did you turn Xiao Xia into my wife? We’re just ordinary friends, don’t talk nonsense outside, or it will be bad if it ruins Dr. Xia’s reputation!”

“Don’t worry! Don’t worry! I know you’re just ordinary friends, it’s just that I like Xiao Xia, and chat about her at home. I won’t say it to other people, your mom is not stupid!” Mrs. Xiang threw him a look.

At the side, although Mr. Xiang heard their conversation, he did not join in. In a little while, he was already singing along enthusiastically with Jackie Chan’s “The Great Wall Never Falls”.

Xiang Kun could clearly feel that this New Year’s Eve, his parents’ mood was much higher than in previous years. Aside from his deliberate guidance, a large part of this might be credited to Old Xia’s visit at noon.

Xiang Kun knew that his parents’ high spirits came from expectations for the future, from hope.

He knew his parents had misunderstood, but he was unable to forcefully burst their bubble. Because he knew, it was very likely that he would never be able to truly fulfill his parents’ wishes in this lifetime.

So for now, if he can make them happy for a while longer, then let it be for a while longer.