My Evil Boy Toy

The day of Caden\'s birth was getting nearer. I felt irregular contractions already and I am experiencing frequent urination and fatigue. I was getting anxious but excited.

I went to the mall to buy some baby stuff. Dr.Lane came with me and Missy. She paid for all the things I bought, declining it at first but she said she considered Caden her grandson. I was happy that I found an amazing person in my first year away from home.

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We were looking around and was about to go to a restaurant, when I suddenly felt pressure on my lower abdomen. I ignored it at first, but when I felt another contraction, it was painful like a different kind of pain.

Then I felt a sudden gush of water coming and flowing out to the floor. I suddenly held on to Missy and she looked at me, confused.

"My water bag broke." I said.

Then Dr.Lane rushed towards me and called for help. Missy ran to the parking lot to get the car while some people helped me to get in it when it arrived.

At the hospital, I felt the contractions were becoming more frequent. My breathing became irregular as I felt strong waves that were similar to diarrheal cramps. Every contraction felt like my lower back was seizing up. Tears were flowing from my eyes as I felt every pain.

My heart was also in pain as I remember Jayden. He was supposed to be here, holding my hand, telling me that everything would be okay and that he would never leave my side. But instead, I was holding on the bedside while trying to push the little angel out of my womb.

In the delivery room of Dr.Lane\'s clinic, my scream of pain could be heard as I tried harder to push the baby out.

"Come one, Peggy! You can do it! Push!" Dr.Lane siad.

"Ehhhhhhhhh….." I screamed.

My heart was beating so fast. I couldn\'t even explain how painful it is. But I need to do this, I went through all those months without Jayden, I can do this!

With one last push, I heard a baby crying. I looked at Dr.Lane who was holding the little angel in her arms. She walked towards me and put him into my chest.

"He\'s beautiful Peggy." She said, smiling at me.

Then I saw the most beautiful thing in the world, my baby. He looks exactly like his father.

I cried the first time I held him into my arms. I was nervous when I carried him while he was crying. I stared at him and he was like an angel.

"Caden." I whispered. 

I couldn\'t explain the feeling of happiness I have in my heart, but at the same time I was lonely. He would grow up without a father. I suddenly got scared, I didn\'t know if I could do it alone. I wanted to see Jayden, I wanted him to see his son, but I know it was too late. Maybe this time, he was so mad at me already and he wouldn\'t want to see me anymore.

"Peggy, look at your son. Don\'t ever think of anything else but him. You\'re a mother now. Your priority is him." Dr.Lane said when she saw me in a daze.

I nodded but tears kept falling from my eyes. I smiled and fell unconscious when they took Caden to clean him.

Jayden took a deep breath and when I looked at him, there were tears from his eyes. He pulled me closer to him, hugging me tighter. Then I felt his body quiver. He was crying.

"I\'m sorry. I missed that. If only I could turn back time. If only I found you sooner, I will definitely be there." He said.

I hugged him back and cried with him. Remembering the times I\'m not with him, made me emotional as well.

"It was my fault. I should have trusted you. If only I didn\'t leave that day. I\'m sorry." I said.

We stayed in that position for a while, embracing each other tight. I could feel his heart beating along with mine. He was kissing me on the forehead then would let out a sigh.

I tilted my head up and looked at him, he moved his gaze to me, giving me a quick kiss on the lips.

"How about you? Will you tell me what happened after I left?" I asked.

"Are you sure you want to hear it? Mine was a lot more different. You know, I was a jerk and an asshole so everything was messed up." He said, blushing.

"Yes I want to hear it. I want to know. Please." I said.

He took a deep breath and kissed me again before telling his story.

"The morning you left was the second most painful day of my life. I woke up that morning without you by my side. I thought you just woke up early and went downstairs but when I asked everyone, no one knows where you went. I ran to our room and looked at your closet, your clothes weren\'t there anymore. I searched the whole house, thinking that you were messing with me but there\'s no trace of you. My head and my heart were messed up. They were broken when I realized that you left me. I started writing you an email because I can\'t show anyone how hurt I am." He started.

I bit my lips and wanted to cry but tried not to. I focused on listening to him. He would definitely stop if he saw me crying.

"The first few days were hard. I drank every night, thinking of the reason why you left. I was also hoping you would come back and explain everything to me. Our friends got mad at me because I didn\'t search for you at first. I was so full of myself, telling them that you left on your own so you should know how to come back and beg for forgiveness. But months passed, you never came. That\'s when I realized that you are not coming back." He looked at me again, checking on my reaction.

I know there were tears in my eyes, I couldn\'t control my emotions. I feel sorry for leaving him.

He brushed my face with his hand and smiled.

"See? I was an idiot. While you suffer carrying Caden alone, I was cursing you and too proud of myself." He said.

"Please continue. I still want to hear everything." I said, seriously.