BXBX NOVEL Chapter 85 - 1 - February 14th (Sunday) – Asamura Yuuta
Chapter 85: Chapter 1 - February 14th (Sunday) – Asamura Yuuta
Morning arrived. Specifically, 8:07 am. Since it was Sunday, I could allow myself to sleep in a bit longer than usual. The sun shining inside from the window illuminated the faucet in the bathroom. I bit down on my yawn as I turned the lever towards \'warm\' to counteract the coldness against my bare feet and warmed up my face with the water. After that, I opened the door to the living room with a "Good morning."
"Morning, Yuuta."
"Good… yawn… morning, Yuuta-kun."
My old man and Akiko-san were already present. As for Akiko-san, she seemed fairly sleepy. It looked like they had finished their breakfast already and when I looked over at the dinner table, I saw two plates of breakfast wrapped up in plastic. As was typical for our weekend menu, there was ham and eggs with salad and miso soup. Normally you\'d have toast with such a meal, but my old man has completely fallen victim to Akiko-san\'s miso soup, which is what created this odd combination. Then again, once you get used to it it\'s just as good.
"…Hm? Where\'s Ayase-san?"
"She\'s still sleeping."
"Maybe she was up late studying again…"
I guess I should wait for her. Eating alone won\'t make it any more delicious, at least.
"I don\'t know when she\'ll get up, so just eat without her."
"Well… Okay, I\'ll do that."
"I\'ll heat up the miso soup for you."
"Thank you," I answered as I slid the slices of bread into the toaster.
After that, I placed the ham and egg inside the microwave to warm it up and removed the wrapping, picked the toast out of the toaster, and sat down at the table. Shortly after, Akiko-san brought me the miso soup.
"She was sleeping in the living room. With her earphones in, too. She didn\'t even hear me come home."
I munched on the toast as Akiko-san told me about last night. Even if she got home early from her bartending job, we\'re talking 3 am the earliest. Was she up studying that late? According to Akiko-san, she had her earphones in with English texts in front of her. I understand that we have the field trip coming up, which will mean she won\'t be able to get as much studying in, but that\'s still pretty amazing.
Though it\'s rare for Ayase-san to sleep in the living room like that. She\'s usually careful to not lower her guard when she\'s at home, but I guess that maybe this means she\'s showing more trust in us? My old man and Akiko-san got married and they moved in with us back in August. If she really is starting to feel like we\'re her family, then I\'m happy. Well, she\'ll get up soon enough, I bet.
"Time to dig in."
I poured some soy sauce onto the ham and eggs, placing it on my toast with my chopsticks. The most important thing here is to keep the egg yolk all clean and in the center of the toast. That makes for the perfect setup. I bit into it. The closer to the center I got, the more egg yolk I obtained with each bite, and the soup-like consistency mixed with the crunchy texture, filling my mouth with the taste of egg. Eating it like this without losing any egg yolk is actually the real pleasure and—
"You really do eat like Taichi-san, Yuuta-kun."
"Pffft! Cough! Cough!"
"Oh my. Here, have some water." She handed me a cup filled with water.
"Th-Thank you…"
"You\'re welcome. Make sure to slowly eat and take your time," Akiko-san smiled as she sat down across the table, resting her cheek on her palm. "But really, you two look identical."
"R-Really?"
I was never that aware of it, but it would make sense. Plus, I never really take a good look at my old man when he\'s eating, either. And with that timing, Akiko-san clapped her hands together.
"Today is Valentine\'s Day, right?"
"Um… yes?"
"Then… Here you go!"
She handed me a wrapped box. I had been wondering what that one was about when I saw it on her seat on the dining table when I was getting my breakfast. Upon a closer look, I could see a ribbon wrapped around it, signaling that it was a present. I hesitated for a moment but thanked her. I guess this is the final line of obligatory chocolate—Mother chocolate. To think such a minor thing could make me realize that I actually have a mother now. And as I was getting emotional, I heard my old man\'s voice from the sofa.
"What about me…?"
It seemed like he hadn\'t gotten his present yet. But… that\'s all the presents I saw on the table. Meanwhile, Akiko-san looked at my father\'s empty seat, then looked at him, and just let out a baffled "Huh?" in response.
"No waaay…" My old man sighed in disbelief, and Akiko-san stuck out her tongue.
"Hee hee. Just kidding, I have something for you," she said and opened the refrigerator.
She then took out a white rectangular box and offered it to him. My old man placed this box on his lap and opened it, revealing a chocolate-colored cake.
"It\'s chocolate chiffon cake."
"You made that just for me?"
"It\'s a special event, so we need to make it memorable, right? I made sure to keep the sugar levels to a minimum so you don\'t have to worry about your stomach when eating it."
"H-Haha… Oh, man. You didn\'t have to say that," my old man grumbled as he scratched his nose in a bashful way.
Really, she\'s the exact opposite from my birth mother. My mother was what you could call a \'good-for-nothing,\' always changing how she acted simply based on the person she was dealing with. To me, my biological mother is a failure, whereas Akiko-san is an understanding woman. Then again, I don\'t think Akiko-san is purposefully buttering us up, either. I think that just shows how human relationships don\'t work based on that.
Though she did go out of her way to make a cake especially to please my old man. And that\'s something Ayase-san would regularly do, too. I guess they really are mother and child.
"I\'ll make some more coffee. And I\'ll grab a knife, fork, and a plate."
"I\'ll handle that, don\'t worry."
"Thank you, Taichi-san."
"That\'s my line. Happy Valentine\'s, Akiko-san."
"Yes. Happy Valentine\'s."
The two looked at each other, as their gazes looked like they melted away as if they were chocolate. This caused me to remember when Maru told me that I\'m assuming it\'s normal for couples to flirt around in front of people… and I have to say, my thoughts about it were correct. At least in front of their family, these two do not hold back. And while trying my best to not look over toward the kitchen, I calmly munched on the rest of my toast.
Morning classes at my prep school ended, bringing us to lunch break. I left the prep school building and made my way to the nearest convenience store to buy lunch. Upon entering the automatic door, I was assaulted by a wave of red. Left and right, top and bottom, everything was Valentine\'s chocolate. At the top was a collaboration from a super famous store, which girls my age were admiring. Next, someone who seemed like a salaryman bought the cheapest packs that had like 50 pieces of chocolate in each, probably to hand out at work. I passed by the shelves and headed deeper inside the store, wondering what I should eat. Since I\'d like to save up some of my allowance for the field trip next week, I probably shouldn\'t go all out. That means… This. I grabbed a package with one salted onigiri and headed for the self-service register, standing behind a tall woman.
"Ah, I just finished, so please go ahead… Oh, what a coincidence."
The person who turned around was actually a fellow student at my cram school who I knew quite well.
"Ah, Fujinami-san."
"Imagine this. Also, sorry, I\'ll get out of your way."
"It\'s fine."
I scanned the barcode and finished the payment with my smartphone, only to hesitate as I was about to put it into my bag. Fujinami-san saw this and spoke up.
"If you\'d like to eat it at the prep school, I can carry it for you," she opened her plastic bag from the convenience store.
Inside were several sandwiches, some bread, as well as cafe au lait.
"Erm… Thanks. I can carry the bag if you want."
"One single onigiri isn\'t that heavy. Well, if it makes you feel better, then I\'ll take you up on that offer."
I dropped my onigiri inside the bag and accepted it from Fujinami-san. We then left the convenience store and headed to the food court in the prep school. It was actually fairly crowded because a lot of other students were using it, too. We spotted two open seats and sat down next to each other, and after I pulled my onigiri out, I handed the plastic bag back to Fujinami-san.
"Thanks."
"Don\'t mind it. Thanks for carrying the bag." Fujinami-san took everything out of the shopping bag and folded it, using it as a lunch mat as she placed her food and cafe au lait on it.
She must have realized that I was staring as she looked at me.
"This is just my personal custom. I plan to use it as a trash bag after I\'m done."
"It\'s okay. Sorry for staring."
"It\'s fine. Also, while we\'re on the subject of curiosity, I have a question. But it\'s totally okay if you can\'t give me an answer. The reason you didn\'t want to put your rice onigiri inside your own bag… did you refrain from doing so because you didn\'t want it to get in contact with everything else?"
"Ahh… Um, not really. It might be a bit hard to understand, but I\'ve got my part-time job at a bookstore after this."
"Okay?"
Her face was basically asking \'What does that have to do with anything?\'
"And it can get pretty stressful during work."
"When a customer is just venting their stress out on you?"
"That too. But to me, it\'s the shoplifters. No matter how careful you are, no matter what you do to try to stop them, there are always people who have to just steal stuff."
"Wouldn\'t setting up surveillance cameras inside the store solve that problem?"
"The fact that I distrust customers is what causes the stress to build up. Normally, they would be crucial for our business. But when you work part-time in places like these, you learn to doubt other people."
"I had no idea that could happen."
"I\'ve only been told by my senior at work, so I don\'t know if this would be common or not. However, she told me not to look away from customers who enter with a large bag, especially if it\'s already opened."
"Like a sports bag?" Fujinami-san looked at the bag at my feet.
"Exactly. If you had a plastic bag like you\'d get after a purchase, you can tell what\'s inside there, and it changes shape."
Compared to that, something like a Boston bag is a lot more solid, allowing you to slide in a book or two and nobody would be able to tell from the outside. And once they zip up the bag, it\'s totally impossible to notice. That\'s why customers like that should be the absolute focus when they happen to enter. But the idea of being doubtful of others like this can weigh down heavily on you, chipping away at your mental health.
"Ah, I see. So even if you\'ve paid for it, the employees won\'t know if you actually paid for it or not. And even if you aren\'t doing anything evil, you can\'t help but be conscious of the way other people are looking at you."
I nodded.
"I just built up a natural resistance towards putting items in my bag. But I don\'t feel right taking a single onigiri to the cash register either."
But I didn\'t think she\'d just see through my momentary hesitation that easily. If not for her offer, I probably would have held the receipt with the onigiri in hand while leaving the store.
"That makes sense. But on that note, I\'m surprised that\'s enough for your lunch. I assume you don\'t eat much?"
"Actually, our school\'s got a field trip next week, so I want to save money."
"A field trip… during this cold season?"
"Well, I don\'t know. My school does it every year, at least."
Once again, I didn\'t know if this was common or not. But I think there\'s usually a field trip in your first summer when you\'re in your third year of middle school. Since Suisei High is supposed to be a preparatory school, they most likely didn\'t want to have it in the students\' third year so they could focus on their exams.
"Where are you going? Kyoto or somewhere around there?"
"Singapore."
"Overseas? That\'s a surprise," she muttered with an impressed voice, but I don\'t think it was that weird for a school like ours to choose an overseas location. "I\'m… a bit jealous."
It seems like her school didn\'t have a field trip like that.
"Well, even if we had that, I wouldn\'t have been too sure about participating or not. Plus, that\'s money better saved for tuition fees."
I wasn\'t dense enough to tell her a few words of sympathy. I would bet that she wouldn\'t be happy even if I tried to say something about it. In that way, she\'s probably a lot like Ayase-san.
"For that reason, once I can afford it financially in university, I\'ll travel overseas a lot. Go here, go there, meet all sorts of people."
"I bet it\'d be fun if you can communicate with them."
"I\'m fairly good when it comes to English, so I should be able to get by. Are you good with foreign languages, Asamura-kun?"
"I don\'t think I\'d handle myself too well with English conversations."
"Really? That\'s a surprise. Your grades are fairly good, no?"
Just because I\'ve been practicing communicative English for my exams doesn\'t immediately transfer to actual speaking skills. I don\'t do listening practices on the regular, either. Speaking of which, I suddenly remembered that Ayase-san fell asleep late because she was studying English last night.
"Are you able to speak English well, Fujinami-san?"
"Somewhat, yeah."
"That\'s amazing."
"Comes with my environment, so it\'s not all sunshine and rainbows."
According to what she had told me before, she\'s living with her foster parent she calls Auntie. And from the sounds of it, one of the people she looks after is from South Asia, someone who speaks English quite well and often, and this person owns a restaurant which Fujinami-san regularly visits.
"At first, I had no idea what they were even saying. But while trying to talk with them, I acquired that skill naturally."
"You learn from what is around you without realizing it, huh?"
"I think it\'s just getting used to it, rather than just learning. When taking a trip overseas, there are things you can\'t experience without speaking the language. Though that\'s just how I see things. Well, even if you manage to hold a conversation, being able to get your thoughts and feelings across is an entirely different question, and some things are easily lost if you get too fixated on conversation alone."
"For example?"
"That you lose track of time, for example," Fujinami-san said. She put her trash inside the plastic bag and tied it closed.
Only then did I realize that hardly anybody was left in the rest area. When I checked the time, I started panicking. I barely had two minutes left until afternoon classes started.
"Fair enough."
"W-We should hurry. I\'d rather not waste tuition fees by missing classes."
We rushed down the hallway as I thought to myself that there were still a lot of things to be learned from conversations like these.
Prep school classes ended for the day, and the sun had already set by the time I left the building. I put on the neck warmer I had received from Ayase-san and rode my bike to the bookstore near the Shibuya train station. The wind hitting my cheeks was awfully cold to the point that just blinking brought me close to tears. I didn\'t even want to imagine how cold it would be after my shift. Maybe I should stop taking the bike to work at least during these cold days.
I stored my bike at the usual parking area and entered the building with its blessed interior heating, which made a sigh escape my lips. After that, I headed inside the bookstore\'s employee area. After I was done changing into my uniform, I stepped out into the sales area to take a walk around and see how the shelves and tables were looking.
"Oh, Junior-kun!"
My senior at work, Yomiuri Shiori—Yomiuri-senpai called out to me. Since she hasn\'t changed yet, she probably just got here.
"Good eve—No, good morning, is it?"
"Why are you wishing me a good morning this late?"
"Haven\'t you told me before that the industry asks for such a greeting?"
"…Yes, I did say that. Aren\'t you a diligent one, Phelps-kun."
"…And who would that be?"
Knowing Yomiuri-senpai, it\'s probably some character from a novel, but I really wish she wouldn\'t make random references without even checking if I knew what she was referencing1.
"Who might it be? Those memories have been deleted automatically."
"I don\'t think you should do that."
In other words, she isn\'t even bothering to remember.
"Heh heh heh… Oh? Where\'s your little sis?"
"Her shift has just ended."
Ayase-san worked from 10 am to 6 pm today, and I\'m here for the shift after hers. I think she\'s gonna be done changing any minute now. Since she\'s gonna use some of the money she\'s been saving on the field trip, she\'s been taking pretty long shifts on the weekends for the latter half of January. For that reason, she\'s also done working earlier than usual. And that led to us working fewer days on the same shift. I explained all of this to Yomiuri-senpai as we walked toward the office.
"Oho, the field trip? Sounds nice. I\'m jelly."
"That\'s why Ayase-san and I don\'t have any shifts next week."
"That\'s a painful lack of workforce we\'ve gotta compensate with. Then again, February\'s usually pretty relaxed. But that sounds nice. I\'m out here worrying about employment as you are just fooling around. No fair!"
"It\'s not like I can help it. Still, even you worry about work in your future, huh?"
"What are you implying?"
"You seem like the type of person who can separate work and hobbies, so I figured you\'d be fine with wherever."
"Well, duh. I can read no matter my job."
Bingo.
"Even so, I need a job that pays well enough to fund my book addiction. That much I know, so… Junior-kun, what kind of job do you think would be good for me?" She said this while pointing to her nose.
"Knowing you, I think you\'d succeed at whatever you do."
"You\'re not getting anything from me with empty praise, you know?"
"Do you have any preferences, then?"
"Hm… Either working at a bookstore, moving on to a publisher, maybe becoming a streamer or celebrity. Just anything for a quick buck, really."
It sounded so serious in the beginning…
"I think you could pull off all of that," I said honestly.
She\'s pretty enough to get confessions on the regular, and she\'s a talented student who\'ll graduate from Tsukinomiya Women\'s University. Even the part about becoming a celebrity sounds doable when talking about her.
"Pull off all of that… huh?" She sighed with a somewhat profound tone. "Oh, well. I\'ll leave the worrying for later. Still, without your little sis, it\'ll just be me and you hitting the cash register today. Then again…" Yomiuri-senpai looked around inside the store. "At the moment, it looks like we\'ll probably be bored for most of that."
"Yup."
Despite the fact that it was Sunday, the bookstore wasn\'t too crowded. February in Japan is the period when the season and its environmental changes are the harshest. With the climate freezing, so do the demands, as there are regularly fewer goods being sold. Books are no exception to that, and most books experience a severe drop in sales other than manga magazines and super popular works, as well as an author\'s newest releases. The same goes for bookworms, because other than those crazy ones who read on exam days, you usually hold off on reading much.
"Anyway, let\'s get today over with, Junior-kun," Yomiuri-senpai waved her hand at me as she disappeared into the changing room.
As for me, I went to the office and greeted the manager. If there\'s anything he needs done right now, he\'d usually ask me. And as expected, he wanted me to help carry the returns when I found time while taking care of the cash register. All deliveries and pick-ups from the wholesaler stop during the weekend. Returns and deliveries usually happen together, and we\'re full of cardboard boxes with returns.
Put simply, lots of physical labor awaits me. I agreed to his request and then made my way out into the store area. Not even an hour later, the store was almost completely empty and devoid of students and salarymen, leaving us bored. The mountain of returns was taken care of, too, and even if we stood at the cash register, we were waiting for customers to arrive. Looking at the time, I still had another hour left. In the end, both Yomiuri-senpai and I were just standing around.
"I\'m so bored!"
"It is a slow day, yeah."
"Hey, Junior-kun? Where\'s your field trip gonna be, anyway?"
I told her pretty much the same thing I had explained to Fujinami-san earlier. That we\'re heading to Singapore, and I\'m saving up allowance for that. Despite the fact that speaking with the locals will probably be fun, I\'m not confident in my conversation skills. Needless to say, we spoke in a quiet voice and helped out any customers as needed. That being said, this kind of conversation was to be expected since we had nothing else to do.
"The field trip and Valentine\'s… Smells like youth, eh?"
"Where did the topic of Valentine\'s come from?"
"Shibuya\'s full of couples, so I figured that was enough of a segway."
"So many prejudices…"
"Did you get any chocolate, Junior-kun?"
"Huh? Ah, no, well. Just from family, that\'s about it."
Ayase-san and Akiko-san are family, so they don\'t really count, and Narasaka-san emphasized the fact that hers was obligatory chocolate. Now that I think about it, Fujinami-san didn\'t even bring up the conversation of Valentine\'s, but that\'s probably her way of keeping a comfortable distance. Either way, I didn\'t want Yomiuri-senpai teasing me as always, so I kept things vague.
Eventually, my shift ended and I returned to the office. Yomiuri-senpai had her break around the same time, as she came from the changing room with a small bag. She took out a small red box and handed it to the manager.
"Manger, here\'s some duty chocolate."
"Oh, thanks a lot, Yomiuri-kun."
Duty? Not obligatory? I tilted my head in confusion, and Yomiuri-senpai approached me, giving me a small red box, too.
"Here, obligatory chocolate."
It was the same chocolate she gave the manager, leaving me a bit bewildered.
"What\'s the difference between duty and obligatory chocolate?"
"The feelings packed into it?"
"Why does that sound like a question?"
"I\'m saying that the type of feelings packed into the chocolate is different!"
How does that even make any sense? What\'s there to pack into?
"Affection?"
"Yet again, another question…"
"You write it with the kanji for \'Obligatory\' but read it \'Love\'."
"I don\'t think there\'s any correlation between the two."
"I\'m just trying to cope with stress at work by being a good senior and supporting my junior."
"That\'s just the early stages of power harassment, you know? Also, don\'t use your junior for stress relief."
"But I wanna go overseas, too! Sob, sob. Hey, Junior-kun… Won\'t you hire me as a guide for your field trip?"
"If you\'re that confident about your language skills, you should probably apply to an official company for that sort of thing."
"I\'m not good enough to call myself proficient, at least. And my department doesn\'t have too many people who are able to speak English well, either. Though they can at least work their way through a text."
"Really?"
"Most modern dissertations and essays are written in English, yep. So we have to make abstracts—basically short summaries of the papers. Put simply, when looking for papers and so on, we go through all the abstracts to look for one that could be useful for our argument."
"I… see?"
"And those abstracts are usually in English, too. You\'ll end up reading a lot of English abstracts and then reading through the longer papers, also in English. That\'s why—"
All this abstract and abstract talk is making my head spin, quite frankly.
"We have a lot of students who can read normal papers and longer texts just fine. Also, those who go to graduate schools can usually hold proper daily conversations. But the average student usually doesn\'t reach that level. Kudou-sensei could talk all day in English, at least. She knows we all can\'t stand it and is trying to make the seminars English-only. Last time, she was grinning to herself as she talked about making the regulated exams full of reading and questions that are completely in English…"
University sounds rough. Or maybe that professor just has a screw loose. I can\'t tell. I felt sympathy for her as I asked her for some tricks when it comes to English conversation.
"That\'s a question, all right. Well, practice makes perfect in the end, I guess."
She was basically saying the same thing as Fujinami-san.
"A foreign-owned top-class enterprise usually has their written exams entirely in English. Both reading and answering, that is!"
"For real?"
"That\'s why I think it\'d be best for you to get some language work in. And if you can read a foreign language, you can work through the various books and texts you\'d like to read before they get translated. You can read all the cool science-fiction novels before Hollywood turns them into movies!"
"Ohh!"
"And if you can have decent conversations…"
"If I can do that…?"
"You can enjoy the movie in real-time with all the other views across the world!"
"Oooh!"
"And it\'ll even help you in your job! Well… probably?"
"O-Ohh…?"
That last part wasn\'t as convincing as it probably should have been. But either way, I gratefully accepted her advice and listened until she went back to work. I then left the bookstore and headed home.
I stowed my bike and then went inside the flat. Since it was a Sunday night, there was no particular reason for me to do so, but out of habit, I went to check if we\'d gotten any mail. Seeing that it was empty, I didn\'t waste much time and took the elevator up to my apartment. Announcing my return with a quiet voice, I opened the door.
"Welcome back."
"Huh? Ayase-san, you were studying here?"
I was greeted by Ayase-san, who was sitting in the living room working through some English texts.
"You mentioned that a change of location could be a good change of pace, right? I was feeling a bit out of it, so I decided to study here."
"I\'m glad I could give you some advice. But first I\'m home."
"Yeah." Ayase-san took off her earphones. "Would you like to eat dinner?"
I finally nodded and thanked her. As always, my old man was asleep, and Akiko-san was at work. When I placed my sports bag in my room, I remembered something. I took out the obligatory chocolate I had received from Yomiuri-senpai and placed it inside the fridge. It might still be the cold season, but leaving it inside a heated room for too long will cause it to melt.
"That…" Ayase-san muttered while looking at my hands.
"Ah, yeah. I got this from Yomiuri-senpai. It\'s obligatory chocolate," I responded and showed her the box.
"Ah."
"Hm?"
"No, it\'s nothing. I was just impressed that a university student like her could afford to buy branded chocolate… This is obligatory chocolate, right?"
"At the very least, it\'s not duty."
"Come again?"
"It\'s probably another Yomiuri Joke if you ask me."
Ayase-san seemed just as confused as I was, but I don\'t have the confidence of explaining just what exactly Yomiuri-senpai is thinking on the regular. However, when it comes to her, she apparently mixes the answer to a complicated puzzle with an equally difficult joke, so it\'s a bit hopeless. Either way, I placed the sports bag in my room and went back to the dinner table.
"It\'s almost done. I just have to warm it up a bit."
"No worries." Ayase-san was busy warming up the white stew leftovers from the afternoon. I prepared the tableware, as well as the rice in a small bowl.
With perfect timing, Ayase-san placed today\'s main course down as I sat down with my rice bowl in hand.
"Thanks."
"You\'re welcome. Just give me a moment, there\'s one more thing."
"Hm?" I looked at the food in front of me.
There were the vegetables and chicken from today\'s white stew, with rice and boiled seaweed. Honestly, that was more than enough for a late dinner like this. But to my surprise, a small bottle was placed in front of me.
"…Shichimi2?"
"Yep. This is everything."
"…Huh?"
Now I was even more confused. I\'m part of the soy sauce faction, so all I need is soy sauce to give my seaweed that extra flavor.
"The dessert\'s gonna be sweet, so I figured a bit of spice would mix in better."
"I think… it\'s plenty good as is?"
"You can just use it as you see fit. Anyway, I\'ll go back to studying," she said and turned her back towards me, grabbed her stuff, and went back to her room.
This made me start thinking. Maybe shichimi just goes with white stew really well? I tried a bite with that anticipation, but it didn\'t make it any more delicious. In the end, the day came to a close without me understanding what that was all about.
───
1 Not too sure, either, but my guess is the character Phelps from one of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle\'s short stories called The Adventure of the Naval Treaty.
2 A common Japanese spice mixture containing seven ingredients.