The Beautiful Monster

Zoe sighed and pushed the cup up toward Alyssa\'s mouth so that she could sip on her wine.

"Not everything is gone. You are still going to New York and going to medical school.

You\'ll regret not making that step, even if it is alone. You won\'t be the only one," Zoe assured her.

"What about love? I don\'t even think I want to be with anyone ever again," Alyssa scoffed. Elias had ruined that for her.

He ruined everything, and she was starting to not even like him. She was so sad and so angry, and the feelings clashed painfully inside of her.

She sniffled as her heart ached, prompting her to drink some more..

Zoe gave her arm a light squeeze.

"That will take more time to heal than anything else. You might not date for a few months. Or a whole year.

It doesn\'t matter. You will know when the time is right. You\'ll have plenty of other things to focus on," she said.

Alyssa nodded, knowing that she would be far too occupied with medical school to have a boyfriend in the first place.

Maybe her and Elias would\'ve broken up anyway because she would hardly have any free time.

She wouldn\'t ever know now. Maybe he ran off because he was too afraid to tell her that he didn\'t want to move to New York with her.

She would\'ve rather him tell her straight to her face. It would\'ve been painful, but she would\'ve been appreciative of his honesty.

"I\'m losing everyone," she whispered as she looked down into her cup, which was almost empty.

Zoe shook her head as she leaned close to Alyssa.

"You\'re not losing me," she reminded Alyssa.

"But you\'ll be across the country from me, living your own life. It\'ll just be me out there," Alyssa said, feeling her eyes burn.

She wished that she had wanted to go to medical school around here, but NYU was her dream school.

When she got accepted by them, she couldn\'t bring herself to turn them down just because of the distance.

She thought that she would at least have Elias with her. One out of two wasn\'t as bad as none out of two.

"I\'m a phone call away. You never know who you\'ll meet out there too," Zoe pointed out. "It\'s a fresh start for you, and it\'s exactly what you need to move on from him."

Alyssa glanced over at Zoe. She wished that starting over wasn\'t so hard, but Zoe was right. It was exactly what she needed.

If she lingered around here, she would constantly be reminded of Elias and all of their memories here. She couldn\'t stay here any longer. She needed to go before it hurt her even more.

"Thank you for coming to see me," she said gratefully. "I\'ve always been able to count on you."

A sad smile crossed Zoe\'s face as she nodded. She leaned her head against Alyssa, holding her close as silence fell on the room. There was nothing more to say, but there was plenty to feel. And Alyssa felt it all.

***********

Alyssa stared at herself in the bathroom mirror in her dorm, letting her eyes float over the black graduation gown that adorned her body.

The dress that she bought with Elias was hidden underneath.

She almost considered tossing the dress and shoes away, but she couldn\'t bring herself to do it. She didn\'t have anything else good enough to wear.

She brushed her fingers through her hair, working through some of the tangles that she didn\'t have the energy to brush out.

She didn\'t even care how she looked at this point. She just wanted to get this graduation ceremony out of the way so that she could plan her move to New York. She wanted to get away from this place as quickly as she could.

Her mind had taken a complete 180 degree turn from her original mindset. She used to love this place.

She used to want to visit this place all the time. Now, she wanted to be away from it. Possibly forever.

Zoe would have to fly to see her in New York until she was comfortable enough to come back here. She wasn\'t sure when that would be or if that would ever happen.

A lot of things were uncertain right now. She had to figure out housing and hope that the applications for housing at the university were still being accepted.

Elias made a mess of her life by leaving so suddenly, and she had to clean it up. She had to fix everything that he destroyed, but she knew that was impossible.

Not everything could be repaired. She was pretty sure that her heart was done for.

Alyssa looked down at her phone when it buzzed. She used to hurriedly check her phone to see if it was Elias, but she didn\'t even bother to anymore.

She knew that he wasn\'t coming back, so she didn\'t bother to get her hopes up. That just made her hurt that much more. The text was from Zoe anyway.

Zoe; Meet in front of the arena?

Alyssa sighed, wishing that the graduation ceremony was already over with. She already had to deal with going to the party tonight, which she didn\'t want to go to.

There wasn\'t much left to celebrate, but she tried to put on a smile for Zoe, who had been an incredible help to her. She just had to get through this day.

Alyssa; Coming

Alyssa sent the text before grabbing her things and leaving her dorm. Luckily, she could stay in her dorm until she was ready to move.

She was trying her best not to be homeless at some point. Elias just made that even harder for her. Everything was harder now.

Once she got to the arena, she had to slip past all of the other graduates waiting to go inside for the ceremony to reach Zoe and Cole. She accepted a hug from both of them.

"It\'s finally here,"