Don’t Concern Yourself With That Book

I heard him chuckle. I could imagine a slight smile drawn on his face. Squeezing the bracelet, I slowly spoke.

“I mean…”

“Right. I was never your brother from the start.”

“Yes.”

“… Is something up? What’s wrong with your voice?”

I lowered my head and grabbed the bracelet with both my hands.

“A lot has happened. All within these few days.”

“You’re not hurt?”

“That’s what I was about to ask. You know. Brother.”

“Hm?”

The Head Templar, Pontus’ words suddenly came to mind.

“How would you feel if I told you I wanted to become emperor?”

Amor paused for a moment. After a moment of silence, I heard him take a short breath before speaking unhurriedly.

“Is that what you’ve decided on? Or are you still deliberating? Or… is that something you’re being pushed to choose?”

To my surprise, he asked calmly.

“I don’t know.”

Because it had been so sudden. I closed my eyes. Everything I just went through had struck me like lightning, giving me no time to prepare. All I could do was groan at the pain that penetrated my body. And till now, I was still reeling from the aftereffects.

“Whatever you choose, I’ll be with you. I won’t let you do anything alone anymore.”

“Does that mean you’re going to support me? I’m trying to start a coup, you know?”

“Not behind you but beside you.”

To my playful reply, Amor replied sincerely. I stared at the bracelet with a smile.

“I’ll be by your side.”

Calmness settled on my chest with a tickle much like a foxtail. Could I call this shard happiness? I closed my eyes.

I recalled what the duchess once told me. The God of Love proclaimed that there were three forms of love. One that makes you look up, one that makes you look down and the other where you face each other. People chose to love using one of these three forms. I knew what kind of love I needed right at this moment.

“If you become the emperor, well, does that make me your prince consort?” (1)

“I never said I was going to marry you.”

“I’ll come find you in your room till you do.”

“You will be committing a crime.”

“… I’ll stay outside your door.”

His voice sounded a little sullen at the end. I burst into another fit of laughter. Now, feeling more light-hearted, I stared at something beyond the bracelet. Out the window, a crescent moon that looked like it had been bitten into by a beast was hanging in the sky. Were we both staring at the same moon?

“Brother, do you believe in fate?”

“What do you think?”

“I think it exists. If it exists…”

Amor remained silent but I knew that he was waiting for me to finish my sentence.

“Doesn’t that mean fate cannot be changed?”

I called out for him from within. I had met the female lead from the original novel. You know. The person he was meant to love was so bright and lovely, and her kind-heartedness that allowed her to sympathise with the less fortunate was exactly as it was described to be.

“But I don’t agree.”

I was sitting here because I had escaped my fate to die countless times. Countless foreseen deaths. The hollowness and hopelessness I felt after every death had been indescribably painful and I had been struggling with my wounds and maintaining my daily life every day I met you.

“Because the fact that I’m alive is proof that it doesn’t exist.”

You had been the snow that continued to fall upon me without stop. You brought about a season in which all I wanted to do was sleep where it was warm and let the white snow pile atop me and cover me whole.

Listen closely.

“… Amor.”

Rightfully, this was the name only Rusbella could call you. I had probably planned on wishing for your happiness from a distance. Even after meeting Rusbella, that was still what I thought and I was confident I could stick to my plans.

“Amor.”

But the world I lived in still felt cold and lonely so I could never live without you.

“Why aren’t you saying anything?”

Because you were the only flower that bloomed for me while I was still haunted by those cold nightmares. With tears welling in my eyes, I smiled as I stared at the bracelet. I thought it would be nice to have you by my side once happiness arrives for me.

“Call me by my name.”

I would now fulfil the simple yet earnest wish you had asked for me that day. Stay by my side without dying.

“Amor.”

I didn’t want to let go of what was already in my hands. It seemed like I still had greed. I guess it was you who taught me that I did.

“You asked me to call you that, remember?”

It was only a little later that Amor, who had not said anything for a while, let out a trembling voice.

“It’s because I was so happy… I felt like I could die.”

“So, are you going to become the emperor?”

It was only after a long time did we manage to start having a proper conversation. To be exact, Amor had not been speaking but I still shook my head though he could not see me.

“I don’t know.”

This was not something I could decide suddenly. The Empire was already blessed with two princes. And there was a great number of templars following each of them. I didn’t want to fight Julian. If I immediately raised a coup against the emperor, I might unknowingly help Castor.

I talked to Amor about what happened with Pontus earlier. After hearing me out, Amor replied flatly.

“You’ve been saying how impossible it would be since earlier but it’s not entirely impossible.”

What did he mean? I brought the bracelet closer to me to hear him. After a short cough, Amor spoke.

“The city in which the Temple of Snow and the Sea resides is the largest city following the capital. It is the most powerful temple after the Lord of the Gods’. And didn’t he introduce himself as a Templar of Chaos as well? That meant he must have also absorbed all the templars belonging to temples that have disappeared.”

“Amor. Aren’t we referring to Templars of Death when we talk about the Templars of Chaos?”

“Yes and no. Our current emperor had eradicated temples who were against him after collectively referring to them as the ‘Templars of Chaos’. Anyway, the Temple of Snow and the Sea had absorbed all these new templars–including the powerful ones.”

“Ah…

In short, Amor was saying that the most powerful military force in the Empire after the Imperial Palace had declared their allegiance to me.

“Ashley, if you would like to make a claim to the throne, let’s talk about who would stand behind you. First, you have me. I’m not reading anything but I am the Head Templar of the temple that ranks 4th in power and owns the granary. And you also have your brother, the 6th prince. Vulcanus, from which he hailed from, is one of the richest groups in the Empire. Then, you also have the aedile who has sworn his allegiance to you. What are you missing aside from divinity, wealth and military force?”

When I could not answer, Amor continued.

“Who stands in the centre?”

His voice sounded further away and I could tell from the languid playfulness in his voice that he was tossing his head back from joking around.

“Who do you think stands in the centre to connect all these factors and people?”

I stared at the fluttering wind for a moment. The silver moon reminded me of the hair of the Head Templar of Snow and the Sea. I turned to face the bracelet once again.

“When… you put it like that you make me sound like some amazing person.”

Amor replied firmly.

“You are an amazing person.”

I could tell from his voice that he was smiling but he didn’t seem like he was lying.

“That’s why I’m so anxious.”

He had always been straightforward so he probably meant it.

“The people who love you more are making me anxious…”

After speaking for so long, I could tell he was gradually losing his voice. He sounded calm but he was slurring.

“I’ve been told that I will just be waiting for death for the rest of my life.”

“Amor.”

“You’re light.”

When I was rendered speechless, unable to respond, Amor spoke again.

“Sorry. I’m getting drowsy again.”

“It’s alright. Go to sleep.”

Just as I thought, he hadn’t recovered yet. Pressing my eyes closed tightly before opening them, I nodded.

“Amor.”

“Hm… It’s nice. Your voice.”

“Call my name too.”

I smiled before stroking the bracelet. It felt damp as if grass was used to weave it. Just then, I was reminded of the one who gave me so much love unconditionally. I closed my eyes at the thought of Ray’s love to which I could not respond. After some time passed, he replied slowly.

“Rosé.”

“Mhm. Get some rest.”

As unfortunate as it was, I spoke my last goodbyes to Amor before washing up to get my act together. When I left the bathroom, the darkness had yet to leave the night. I left my room with a towel on my head. I arrived at the chilly drawing room before heading towards the sofa.

“Ashley.”

Drip drop.

Water dripped off my wet hair and dampened my shoulders.

“Dane?”

I found Dane leaning against the window. Perhaps he didn’t manage to sleep.

“Why did you stay up?”

“Ah. I felt stuffy so I washed up. I’m wide awake now.”

Turning just his head, he asked.

“DIdn’t you feel sleepy?”

“Hm… A little?”

I had too much to think about. It would be a waste of time to sleep. I was going to sit and think about it. About the future. About me. About everything.

“I see.”

He gave a gentle smile. Then, as he approached me, he took the towel from my head and sat me down before proceeding to dry my hair. Shocked, I tried to take my towel back from him but he dodged my hands with ease before insisting.

“Let me help.”

HIs soft yet firm hand grabbed me before he spoke.

“… Otherwise, you wouldn’t let me near you.”

Flinch. As I froze helplessly, Dane grabbed the hand that was hovering in the air before kissing my fingertips. As Dane’s eyes stared into mine through strands of my gently fluttering hair, I pulled my hand back.

“… Dane?”

His intense red eyes were overwhelming.

“You know.”

The voice he had been holding back escaped.

“There’s something I’ve been wanting to tell you.”

Even without him looking back at him, I could tell how he was looking at me. The 3rd Prince dissipated from my mind as he took over.

“I know how you feel. I do.”

“Ashley.”

He called me. I shook my head before repeating myself.

“Actually, I…”

“Ashley!”

T/N:

(1): Here, Amor uses a very formal word for husband but to stay true to official titles used in present monarchies, I used this as a substitute!